Editing All About Mormons (section)

==Story==

===Description===
A new student named [[Gary Harrison]] joins the boys' class.  In addition to being a good student and mind-numbingly nice, Gary and his family are Mormons.  Sick of Gary's do-good attitude, the boys nominate Stan to kick his ass.  But instead of fighting, Stan winds up accepting an invitation to dinner at Gary's house. 

[[Stan Marsh|Stan]] is stunned by [[The Harrisons|the Harrison's]] "Family Home Evening," in which they tell stories, play music, sing, and most tellingly, share scriptures from the Book of Mormon. There's even a lengthy, dramatic retelling of the story of [[Joseph Smith]], the church's founder.

[[Stan Marsh|Stan]] goes home and shares what he's seen with his own family. His dad, believing that some sort of cult is trying to indoctrinate his son, storms off to the Harrison home to kick ass. Instead, he too is disarmed by their kindness and hospitality. After hearing the highly improbable story of how [[Joseph Smith]] came to write the Book of Mormon (accompanied by flashbacks and a musical score that consists mostly of [http://southpark.cc.com/clips/104256/joseph-smith-part-2 "Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum."]), [[Randy Marsh|Randy]] returns home to announce that he's invited [[The Harrisons|the Harrisons]] over for dinner -- and that, more importantly, the [[Marsh Family|Marsh family]] is converting to the Mormon religion.

The other boys soon make fun of [[Stan Marsh|Stan's]] new buddy-buddy relationship with [[Gary Harrison|Gary]].  The Marshes proceed to have the Harrisons over for their first "Family Home Evening." Stan's dad says he's having a crisis of faith, which prompts [[Gary Harrison Sr.|Mr. Harrison]] to tell him the "best" part of the [[Joseph Smith]] story, which allegedly "proves he wasn't making everything up" -- the tale of how publisher [[Martin Harris]] and his skeptical wife [[Lucy Harris|Lucy]] (accompanied on the soundtrack by [http://southpark.cc.com/clips/154257/joseph-smith-part-4 "smart, smart, smart"]) conveniently "lost" the first translation of the golden plates, to see if Smith could provide a word-for-word duplicate which he could not.
Stan loses his temper over the absurdity of it all, stating that it's ridiculous to believe in something without proof. [[The Harrisons]], unbothered, assert that their views are a matter of faith, and agree to disagree with the Marshes about it.

The only one who seems truly irritated is [[Gary Harrison|Gary]]. Next day at the bus stop, he tells [[Stan Marsh|Stan]] and the other boys that while his religion may not be strictly "true," it helps him and his family live good lives. Finally, he tells Stan to "suck my balls."

===What I Learned Today===
"The truth is, I don't care if [[Joseph Smith]] made it all up because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice, and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it."

===Memorable Quotes===
* "You were supposed to kick his ass, not lick his butthole!" [[Cartman]]
* "Well, it looks like I don't have a class full of retards anymore, doesn't it children?" [[Mr. Garrison]]
* "Hi!  My name's Ura.  Ura Fag." [[Cartman]]
* "He's a pecker-face, that's what he is!"  [[Butters]]
* "This Mr. Harrison is a -- a white guy, right?"  [[Randy]]
* "That does it!  From now on, our family is Mormon!"  [[Randy]]
* "My brother is a stupid turd."  [[Shelly Marsh]]
* "All you've got are a bunch of stories about some asswipe who read plates nobody ever saw out of a hat and then couldn't do it again when the translations were hidden!" [[Stan]]
* "Damn, that kid is cool, huh?" [[Cartman]]