Editing Butters' Very Own Episode (section)

==Story==

===Description===
Butters' Parents' anniversary is right around the corner. Wanting to see what present her husband is getting her, Butters' mom asks Butters to follow his dad around town.  Butters does this, and reports back to his mother that his dad had spent the evening seeing a movie (Fisting Fireman 9), and then going to the gym (a place called the White Swallow Spa").

Butters doesn't understand the implications of his father's actions, but his mother does, and immediately has a psychotic breakdown.. First she drives Butters to a lake and rolls the car into the water with her son still in the  front seat. Then she goes home to hang herself. But before she does, her husband comes home, apologizes and says he still loves her and wants to change his ways.

Then they decide cover up their son's murder by saying their car was carjacked by "some Puerto Rican guy" with Butters inside. But Butters isn't dead. The car floated miles downstream before hitting some rocks, allowing him to get out in the middle of nowhere. Then, slowly -- driven on by the fact that his parents had planned to take him to eat at Bennigan's -- he makes his way back to South Park.

He gets home in time to surprise them on their anniversary. After regaining their composure, they tell Butters he has to say that a Puerto Rican man dropped him off. Taken aback, Butters gives an impassioned speech about how lying is wrong. It  affects his parents so deeply that they call a press conference and admit that not only was his dad  having random sex with strange men, but  his mom actually tried to kill him. This of course horrifies Butters, but on the bright side he still gets his dinner at Bennigan's.

===What I Learned Today===
"I really wish I didn't know that stuff. I guess I learned that sometimes, lying can be for the best. Yup."

===Memorable Quotes===
* "Sometimes telling a little white lie is okay. Like, for instance, when you catch your father jacking off in a gay men's bath house." [[Stephen Stotch]]
* "I could use some God-damned poontang myself right now." [[Butters]]
* "Wow dude, your dad's a perv and your mom tried to kill you." [[Stan]]
* "Inspector Butters is on the case, ma'am!" [[Butters]]
* "He went in there and wrestled with all kinds of guys.  He wasn't too good though.  This one black guy had him pinned down for fifteen minutes straight!"  [[Butters]]
* "Paint Must paint Everything clean.  Everything new "  [[Linda Stotch]] 
* "It looks like the car is fillin' up with water.  Yeah, I think maybe now might be a good time to come back inside the car and drive, mom."   [[Butters]]
* "Oh, nutsack."    [[Butters]]
* "I ain't grounded, am I?"  [[Butters]]