Editing Die Hippie, Die (section)

==Story==

===Description===
Cartman notices a disturbing increase in hippie activity around South Park.  They have taken up residence in people's attics, in their walls everywhere.  At first he tackles the infestation himself, personally locking up 63 beatniks in his basement.  But the problem soon becomes too much for him to handle solo.  Desperate, he takes his fears to South Park's city council.  He tells them that unless something is done, the exploding hippie population will cause a catastrophic hippie music festival the likes of which have never been seen.  

The city council listens, then tells Cartman he's insane and throws him out.  Shortly after, Officer Barbrady discovers the hippies "wrongfully" imprisoned in Cartman's basement and throws him in jail.  Even worse, while he's locked up, the Mayor informs Cartman she's signed a permit allowing the hippies to stage the music festival.

Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are out selling magazine subscriptions for their community youth program.  They encounter a group of college hippies who inform them that selling magazines is turning the boys into a tool of "the corporations."  Horrified at the sound of this, the boys start dressing like hippies and join the hippie clan so they can do something about "the corporations."  They even turn up at the music festival -- Hippie Jam Fest 2005 -- which quickly grows to disastrous proportions.  

Almost too late, the town realizes the mistake, and seeks Cartman's aid. He agrees to help, on the condition that he be provided with a Tonka remote-controlled bulldozer and be allowed to play with it in the school parking lot while Kyle watches. He gets his terms and develops a daring plan -- drill through the miles-thick festival crowd using a special vehicle called the Hippie Digger.  Once at the stage, he will play a death metal song over the sound system. The hippies will disperse because, as everyone knows, hippies hate death metal.

At the same time Stan, Kyle, and Kenny grow bored with the music and pot smoking at the concert and ask the hippies when they actually plan to do something. The hippies think getting high and listening to tunes is doing something. Disgusted, the boys try to leave, only to discover they're walled in on all sides by miles of hippies.

Just then, the Hippie Digger (manned by Cartman, Butters' mom, Stan's dad, and Chef) hacks its way through the dreadlocked, patchouli-scented throng to the stage. Cartman commandeers the sound system and blasts the Slayer song "Raining Blood," which instantly disperses the crowd. The boys, now free, reject the hippie lifestyle. And later, Cartman gets his Tonka bulldozer -- which Kyle, as agreed, must watch him enjoy.

===What I Learned Today===
"Maybe instead of complaining about corporations being selfish, we should look at ourselves. I mean, is there anything more selfish than doing nothing but getting high and listening to music all day long?"

===Memorable Quotes===
* "They're not people, they're hippies!" [[Cartman]]
* "So it seems like we have enough people now. When do we start taking down the corporations?" [[Stan]]
* "Problem is, if you see one hippie there's probably a whole lot more you're not seeing."  [[Cartman]]
* "Look, when hippies start to nest in a new area, it draws other hippies in.  With the right weather conditions and topography, it can lead to a music festival."  [[Cartman]]
* "I can't wait to see the look on those little Eichmann's faces when they hear this crunchy groove!"  [[Crunchy]]
* "You ate too much acid, man!" [[Stan's mom]]
* "Along with me, I'm going to need a scientist, an engineer and of course, a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong."  [[Cartman]]
* "I don't want you to worry about me, Clyde Frog.  You're the best stuffed animal I ever had."  [[Cartman]]