Editing Fat Butt and Pancake Head (section)

==Story==

===Description===
[[Cartman]] wins a Cultural Diversity Day contest for his report on "the important role of Latinos in the arts."  He presents a ventriloquist act -- a mouth and two eyes drawn on his left fist, which he refers to as "Ms. Lopez."  Ms. Lopez speaks nonstop about her love for tacos and burritos, and Cartman's presentation easily beats Kyle's vastly more well-researched effort.

Soon Ms. Lopez takes on a life of her own. She records a music video that gets the attention of the real [[Jennifer Lopez]]'s record company, which decides to fire J-Lo and hire the new "girl." Naturally J-Lo doesn't take this very well. She and her then-boyfriend, [[Ben Affleck]], turn up in South Park.  She gets into a fight with Cartman's hand, while Affleck falls in love with it.

The situation rapidly deteriorates. Ms. Lopez records a successful single, then keeps Cartman up at all hours, writing songs and practicing her "dancing." Even worse, she starts a torrid love affair with Affleck. One morning Cartman wakes up to find Affleck naked in his bed, with his "spooge" all over Ms. Lopez. And to top it off, Ms. Lopez and Affleck announce that they're getting married.

Desperate, Cartman turns to the other boys for help. [[Stan]] is at least willing to entertain the idea that Cartman has gone insane, but [[Kyle]] thinks it's just another con. They turn their backs on him, leaving Cartman to deal with the situation himself. He tries to simply walk away from the mess, only to be confronted by: Record Execs threatening a lawsuit if Ms. Lopez doesn't complete her album; a love-smitten Affleck; and a chainsaw-wielding, completely insane J-Lo.

They chase Cartman onto a bridge, where Ms. Lopez reveals that she's really Mitch Connor -- a con artist who, out of shame for his actions, has taken a cyanide pill. He then "dies," leaving Cartman in full possession of his left hand.

J-Lo is taken away by the police and the rest of Ms. Lopez's pursuers leave.  Although he's still skeptical, Kyle admits that maybe -- just maybe -- "something I don't understand" happened to Cartman.  Only to have Cartman point and laugh, "I got you kinda! I got you kinda!" 
The real Jennifer Lopez, broke and defeated, is last seen working at a La Taco.

===What I Learned Today===
"I've been a cheater all my life. And now I've ruined a singer's career, lost a record company millions, and cost this little boy his precious time."

===Memorable Quotes===
* "My name is Hennifer Lopez. I eat tacos y burritos." [[Hennifer Lopez]]
* "Cultural Diversity Day kicks ass!" [[Cartman]]
* "My kisses taste like tacos." [[Hennifer Lopez]]
* "Okay, what smart-mouthed little punk-ass bitch has been saying they're the new Jennifer Lopez, huh?" [[Hennifer Lopez]]
* "Hola, bitchola!" [[Hennifer Lopez]]
* "Shut up, picante pants!" Police Officer
* "Don't be fooled by all my money, I still like to eat tacos honey So crispy on the outside, so super good and yummy."  [[Hennifer Lopez]]
* "Ms. Lopez, would you like to give Kyle a kiss?"  [[Cartman]]
* "Don't think because I gotta lot of money, I won't give you taco flavored kisses honey.  I'm gonna fulfill all your wishes with my taco flavored kisses." Ms. Lopez's song "Taco-Flavored Kisses"
* "You can suck my coolo, chicka!!" [[Hennifer Lopez]]
* "And don't forget the hot sauce, cholo." [[Hennifer Lopez]]
* "Mmm, just like tacos."  [[Ben Affleck]] after kissing [[Jennifer Lopez]]
* "Your son appears to be completely insane."  Dr. Doctor
* "Awww!!  Ben Affleck's spooge!"  [[Cartman]]
* "Mostly, I'm sorry to you, Ben.  I'm sorry I played tiddlywinks with your heart." [[Mitch Conner]]