Editing I'm a Little Bit Country (section)

==Story==

===Description===
The boys naively join an anti-war protest just to get out of school, but they are soon caught between the two clashing sides -- pro-war and anti-war contingents.  

Angry at the kids' lack of knowledge and total indifference to the issues at hand, Mr. Garrison orders his students to create reports on what the Founding Fathers would think of the situation.  

Instead of just doing the work, Cartman develops a novel "research" technique. He loads his TV recording system with 50 hours of History Channel documentaries, then tosses it and himself into a tub of water, triggering his electrocution -- and a flashback to 1776.

While his body lingers near death in the hospital (a mere side effect of his research technique), Cartman's mind embarks on a fantastical adventure in which he carries the first draft of the Declaration of Independence to the Continental Congress, and learns (from none other than Benjamin Franklin) that America gets its strength from its ability to "say one thing and do another." 

In other words, while a part of the U.S. population can  instigate a war against an adversary, another part can bitch and complain about it. Thus, an American cause is advanced while the nation's appearance as a liberal, pluralistic society is preserved.

Cartman awakens from his coma and rushes to tell the townspeople, who've been engaged in a seemingly endless riot. His words cause them to come together and perform their own rendition of the Donnie and Marie standard, "I'm a Little Bit Country, I'm a Little Bit Rock and Roll."

===What I Learned Today===
"This country was founded by some of the smartest thinkers the world has ever seen. And they knew one thing: that a truly great country can go to war, and at the same time, act like it doesn't want to. You people who are for the war, you need the protesters. Because they make the country look like it's made of sane, caring individuals. And you people who are anti-war, you need these flag-wavers, because, if our whole country was made up of nothing but soft pussy protesters, we'd get taken down in a second. That's why the founding fathers decided we should have both. It's called 'having your cake and eating it too.'"

===Memorable Quotes===
* "Cartman, you are hereby declared a full-fledged retard!" [[Kyle]]
* "Get out of my flashback you God-damned Jew!" [[Cartman]]
* "We'll trizzle the shizzle all over the hizzle!" [[Skeeter]]
* "The Founding Fathers want you all to know that we can disagree all we want, as long as we agree that America kicks ass." [[Cartman]]
* "No war, mkay!"  [[Mr. Mackey]]
* "If you don't like America, why don't you get out!"  [[Skeeter]]
* "Say guys, 1776 was so long ago, I wonder what life would have been like back then back then back then "  [[Cartman]]
* "Don't you see?  All this dividin' up the town -- it's just ridiculous.  What we really should be doing is just beating the hell out of each other." [[Skeeter]]
* "I'm not from here at all, I'm having a flashback!"  [[Cartman]]
* "Wow The Declaration of Independence Day "  [[Cartman]]
* "Do you think kids in every town have to deal with this crap?" [[Kyle]]
* "P.S. Every Thursday should be free ice cream day."  [[John Adams]] reading the Declaration of Independence
* "I like to rock, but I don't want to rock Iraq!"  [[Randy]]
* "It's like having your cake and eating it too."  [[John Adams]]
* "Think of it, an entire nation founded on saying one thing and doing another!"  [[Stephen Hopkins]]
* "I hate this town.  I really, really do."  [[Kyle]]