Editing Kenny Dies (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Story== ===Description=== Cartman discovers a crashed truck carrying aborted human fetuses and tries to sell them to various research labs, only to have his plan derailed when Congress bans stem cell research. But when the boys are informed that Kenny has been diagnosed with a terminal disease and will soon die, Cartman -- in an uncharacteristically dramatic, emotional encounter -- vows to find a cure for him. He then breaks down at the hospital and cries in Kyle's arms. Cartman goes to Washington to address a joint session of Congress. His impassioned singing of Asia's song "Heat of the Moment" convinces the legislators to change their minds and repeal the ban. But it comes too late. When Stan (who's hasn't been able to summon the courage to visit Kenny) finally turns up at the hospital, he finds that his friend just died. Stan is despondent at Kenny's funeral, until Cartman suddenly bursts in and tells them to come outside to see a "miracle." It turns out he only wanted the ban repealed so that he could use the stem cells (which can regenerate other types of cells) to clone his own Shakey's Pizza. Kyle immediately begins to savagely pummel Cartman, while Stan, relieved, realizes he wasn't Kenny's worst friend after all. ===What I Learned Today=== "If you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then it would have nothing to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power." ===Memorable Quotes=== * "Alright Cartman, what's so important that you had to pull us away from lighting cow crap on fire?" [[Kyle]] * "Oh, you're breaking my balls." [[Cartman]] * "Aw man, here we go again! Use the Jew as a scapegoat." [[Kyle]] * "No! This can't happen! Kenny can't die! Kenny can't die!" [[Stan]] * "These are primo fetuses Randy, I wouldn't jerk you around." [[Cartman]] * "I'm just like the fetuses, Chuck - I wasn't born yesterday either." [[Cartman]] * "There's a pretty brave kid fighting for his life in the hospital right now, Doctor I'm gonna go get him some bigger boxing gloves." [[Cartman]] Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)