Editing Red Hot Catholic Love (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!==Story== ===Description=== South Park's parents, disgusted by charges that Catholic priests molest children, decide to become atheists. Cartman, who can't understand why a counselor asked him if Father Maxi ever put anything up his butt, theorizes that you can put food in your ass and crap out your mouth. Kyle bets Cartman $20 that he can't. To everyone's amazement, he does. Soon everyone starts doing it. Horrified at what seems to be a widespread problem of priests molesting children, Father Maxi goes to the Vatican for help. There he discovers that pretty much every priest, everywhere, does it. When Maxi protests, he's told that nowhere in the Holy Document of Vatican Law is this considered wrong -- and that the law can't be changed because no one can find the original document. After a treacherous journey, Father Maxi retrieves the Holy Document of Vatican Law from the catacombs beneath St. Peter's Basilica and demands it be altered to prohibit sex with young boys. The Pope then summons a "higher authority" to weigh in -- a 20-foot-tall Queen Spider who says the law can't be changed. Disgusted, Father Maxi tears the old parchment in two, causing the basilica to crumble. When the Cardinals accuse him of ruining the religion, Maxi says that people have forgotten what being a Catholic is all about. They are losing faith because they don't see how the religion applies to them. If people don't have a mythology to live by, they just start "spewing a bunch of crap out of their mouths." Back in South Park, the adults (who thanks to Cartman have been literally spewing crap out of their mouths) hear Maxi on TV, decide to give up on atheism, forget all the outdated mumbo jumbo that has been made in Rome over the years, and live as Catholics in today's world. ===What I Learned Today=== "We don't have to believe every word of the Bible. They're just stories to help us live by. We shouldn't toss away the lessons of the Bible just because some assholes in Italy screwed it up." ===Memorable Quotes=== * "Chef! What would a priest want to stick up my butt?" [[Stan]] * "So you crapped out of your mouth! Good for you! It's still stupid and immature!" [[Kyle]] * "Now, the key to shoving a turkey up your ass is first wrapping it in string, keeping the pointy wings neatly at the side." [[Martha Stewart]] * "Oh Randy, I don't want to put food up my butt anymore." [[Sharon Marsh]] * "Let's all be atheists!" [[Linda Stotch]] * "Alright, now keep with me here, it gets a little complicated: If you eat food and crap out your butt, then maybe if you stuck food in your butt, you could crap out your MOUTH." [[Cartman]] * "Cartman, that's the dumbest thing you've ever said! This week." [[Kyle]] * "YES! I DID IT!! I CRAPPED OUT MY MOUTH!!!" [[Cartman]] * "The Gelgamek vagina is three feet wide and filled with razor sharp teeth! Do you really expect us to have sex with them?!" [[Gelgameks]] Cardinal Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)