Editing Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride (section)

===Description===
[[Stan]] gets a new dog named [[Sparky]], who turns out to be gay. Frustrated, he wishes out loud for a butch pet. Sparky overhears and runs away.

The distraction couldn't come at a worse time, because Stan quarterbacks the school football team, the South Park Cows, who are about to play the Middle Park Cowboys. [[Jimbo Kern]] bets that the boys can beat the game's absurd 72-point spread, and everyone in the town follows suit. They vow to make Jimbo pay if he steers them wrong.

Jimbo and [[Ned Gerblansky]] decide to improve the odds. Learning that John Stamos' brother, [[Richard Stamos]], will sing "Lovin' You" at halftime, they wire the opposing team's mascot, a horse named [[Enrique]], with a bomb that's set to explode when Richard hits the song's high F note.

Stan ditches the game to look for Sparky. On the edge of town he meets [[Big Gay Al]], proprietor of Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary, where Sparky now lives. Big Gay Al takes Stan for a voyage on Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride -- an excursion into the history of gayness. Stan accepts Sparky just as he is, and they return to town together.

Meanwhile, back at the game, South Park is getting pummeled. At halftime Richard Stamos sings, but he fails to hit the fateful high F note and the bomb on Enrique doesn't detonate. Suddenly Stan and Sparky appear. Stan takes the field and lofts the ball to Kyle, who scores a touchdown as the clock runs out. The final score is 73 to 6 -- South Park beats the spread.

Stan leads the townspeople to Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary, only to find it gone. However the pets are still there, and they joyously reunite with their former owners. Stan finally spots Big Gay Al, who thanks him for helping find homes for his charges. Then he steps into a suitcase, closes it and rockets off into space. Then Enrique finally explodes.