Editing Lil' Crime Stoppers (section)

===Description===
The boys form a detective club -- the South Park Junior Detectives -- and set about town asking if anyone needs a crime solved, for a dollar.  An old woman commisions them to find a missing cherry pie, and they develop an elaborate, bone-chilling story about how her husband planned to kill her with a hammer and dismember her corpse so he could get the pie.  Turns out, the family dog stole it.

Their next case concerns a little girl named Sarah who lost her doll.  While checking her room for clues, another group of kids pretending to be FBI agents storm in. Acting on the theory that fake FBI agents outrank fake local cops, they kick the boys off the case.  

Undeterred, the boys vow to find the doll before the FBI kids do. They interrogate Butters, then demand that he provide a semen sample. Butters has no idea how to do this, so they explain the process and leave him in Cartman's bathroom to work things out. Then, acting on a tip, they locate the stolen doll, which Fosse and Bill are using to play "Gynecologist." Sarah's mother is so impressed by their work that she tells the Park County Police Department, which makes the boys Junior Detectives.

Their first assignment as Junior Detectives: take down a meth lab on the outskirts of town. As soon as they arrive, the lab's occupants open fire, inadvertently killing themselves along with numerous bystanders. The takedown angers some members of the force, most of whom are corrput. The kids are given a chance to "redeem themselves" by visiting a strip bar run by a crime syndicate. Another massive gunfight breaks out, exterminating both the crooks and the crooked cops. The boys survive the showdown unscathed.  

In honor of their service, they're promoted to full Detectives. But the boys are done with police work and go back to playing "Laundromat" in Cartman's basement. Butters (who has been in the upstairs bathroom this whole time) bursts in to tell them that after two days of relentless masturbation, he was finally able to produce a semen sample by thinking about Stan's mom's boobs.
Cartman asks if he'd like his pants cleaned for $4.95.