Editing Stan Marsh (section)

==Life Lessons==
*"Being gay is just part of nature, and a beautiful thing."
*"Parents can be so cruel. Don't they realize that what a child needs more than anything is security? "
*"I’m starting to think that maybe it’s wrong to put someone who thinks they’re a Vietnamese prostitute onto a bull.”
*"Environmental activists don’t use logic or reason.”
*"It's wrong to eat veal because the animals are so horribly mistreated, but if you don't eat meat at all, you break out in vaginas."
*"You see, I learned something today. At first I thought you were all stupid, listening to this douche's advice, but now I understand that you're all here because you're scared. You're scared of death and he offers you some kind of understanding. You all want to believe in it so much, I know you do. You find comfort in the thought that your loved ones are floating around trying to talk to you, but think about it: Is that really what you want? To just be floating around after you die, having to talk to [[John Edward|this asshole]]?"
*"This is America and in America, if something sucks, you’re supposed to be able to get your money back.” 
*"Look, everybody, we're all looking for answer, you know. We all want to understand who we are and where we come from, but... sometimes we want to know the answers so badly that we... believe just about anything."
*"No, no, no. I get it. Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn’t what us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers and then told people to eat him.” 
*"Parents can be pretty cruel sometimes, dude. They get off on it.”
*"Can't you see that all we're trying to do is keep our families safe? Look, ah I don't know if seeing couples murder each other on television is gonna make my parents do it, and we probably won't be able to stop them from watching what they wanna watch. All we're trying to do is make it a little more difficult for them. Because cable makes it so convenient. Sure, if they didn't have easy access to their murder porn channels, they'd be bummed out, but it's not just our responsibility to give them what they want. Is it?"