Editing Trapped in the Closet (section) Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!===Memorable Quotes=== * "Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars." [[Cartman]] * "Dad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!" [[Stan]] * "Tell me why Tom Cruise in the closet or else I'm gonna shoot someone." [[R. Kelly]] * "Come out of the closet, Tom. You're not fooling anyone." [[Nicole Kidman]] * "I'm not in the closet." [[Tom Cruise]] * "I'm not scared of you! Sue me!" [[Stan]] * "You don't actually believe this crap, do you?" [[President of Scientology]] * "Do you ever whistle just for the fun of it?" [[Brian, the Scientology tester]] * "I'm afraid that you are completely miserable and totally depressed." [[Brian, the Scientology tester]] * "There is a reason for people feeling sad and depressed an ALIEN reason." [[President of Scientology]] * "Stan, I just want you to know that I still hate Kyle more than you." [[Cartman]] * "What's better than telling people a stupid story and having them believe you? Having them PAY you for it, stupid!" [[President of Scientology]] * "We're not coming out the closet. So you can just go away." [[Tom Cruise]] and [[ John Travolta]] * "We are gonna sue your ass AND your balls!" [[Scientologist]] * "Yeah, well, just like the rest of us you have to make CHOICES with your money. You want a bike or do you want to not be depressed?" [[Randy]] Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)