Editing Proper Condom Use Warning: You are not logged in. Your IP address will be publicly visible if you make any edits. If you log in or create an account, your edits will be attributed to your username, along with other benefits.Anti-spam check. Do not fill this in!{{Episode_Infobox |Title=Proper Condom Use |Season=05 |Episode=07 |Author=Trey Parker |Director=Trey Parker |Airdate=2001-08-01 |Image=http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/south-park/episode-thumbnails/season-5/south-park-s05e07-proper-condom-use.jpg |Number=72 |Prev=[[Cartmanland]] |Next=[[Towelie_(episode)]] }} ==Story== ===Description=== When the fourth graders start beating off their dogs (in the mistaken belief that they're "milking" them), their parents demand they receive sex education. The fourth-grade girls are instructed by Ms. Choksondik (who despises sex) and the boys are taught by Mr. Mackey (who hasn't had sex since he was 19). The girls are soon convinced that the boys have to wear condoms at all times to prevent disease transmission. So the boys buy some and start wearing them. When this gets back to the parents, they decide that sex education should begin even younger -- in kindergarten. We are then treated to the spectacle of Mr. Garrison demonstrating to the kindergartenclass how to put on a condom -- by using one's mouth. Then he and the little kids review sexual positions. The boys discover from Mr. Mackey that they don't have to wear condoms all the time -- only during sex. Feeling that the girls are the source of all disease, they square off against them in an epic after-school battle involving flamethrowers and tricked-out cars. Meanwhile, Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik develop a sexual relationship. But their love making is broken up by the huge explosions from the kids' battlefield. Soon the town's adults break things up. Chef scolds the parents for not taking responsibility for teaching their own kids about sex. It's decided that, just perhaps, grade school isn't the best place to be introduced to the mysteries of sex.. ===What I Learned Today=== "Sex is emotional and spiritual. It needs to be taught by the family. I know it can be hard, parents, but if you leave it up to the schools to teach sex to kids, you don't know who they're learning it from. It could be from someone who doesn't know, someone who has a bad opinion of it, or even a complete pervert." ===Memorable Quotes=== * "Beating off the dog is not appropriate when we have company!" [[Randy Marsh]] * "You think that sex is about fun and games and love? Wrong! Sex is about disease!" [[Diane Choksondik]] * "I want you, m'kay." [[Mr. Mackey]] * "It's very simple children. The right time to start having sex is 17." [[Chef]] * "Come on, dog! RED ROCKET!" [[Cartman]] * "Dumbass, you can only milk a dog once every few hours." [[Cartman]] * "I'm pretty sure I took the penis and I what the hell did I do with the damn thing?" [[Mr. Mackey]] * "I don't think ol' Mackey knows a hymen from a hysterectomy." [[Chef]] * "Oh geez, I don't wanna get the AIDS, fellas!" [[Butters]] * "No we can't do fingerpaints! You kids wanna get herpes?! How about a nice bucket of AIDS?!" [[Mr. Garrison]] * "Stay away from us, bastards! We don't want to get pregnant!!" [[Wendy Testaburger]] ==Characters== {{Character list | Name = Stan Marsh | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/stan-marsh.png }} {{Character list | Name = Kyle Broflovski | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/kyle-broflovski.png }} {{Character list | Name = Eric Cartman | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/eric-cartman.png }} {{Character list | Name = Butters Stotch | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/butters-stotch.png }} {{Character list | Name = Timmy Burch | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/timmy-burch.png }} {{Character list | Name = Wendy Testaburger | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/wendy-testaburger.png }} {{Character list | Name = Bebe Stevens | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/bebe-stevens.png }} {{Character list | Name = Tweek Tweak | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/tweek-tweak.png }} {{Character list | Name = Randy Marsh | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/randy-marsh.png }} {{Character list | Name = Sharon Marsh | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/sharon-marsh.png }} {{Character list | Name = Principal Victoria | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/principal-victoria.png }} {{Character list | Name = Mr. Mackey | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/mackey.png }} {{Character list | Name = Diane Choksondik | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/mschoksondik.png }} {{Character list | Name = Jerome "Chef" McElroy | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/chef.png }} {{Character list | Name = Richard Adler | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/mr-adler.png }} {{Character list | Name = Herbert Garrison | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/mrgarrison.png }} {{Character list | Name = Jenny | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/jenny.png }} {{Character list | Name = Filmore Anderson | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/filmore-anderson.png }} {{Character list | Name = Flora Larsen | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/flora.png }} {{Character list | Name = Stuart McCormick | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/stuart-mccormick.png }} {{Character list | Name = Gerald Broflovski | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/gerald-broflovski.png }} {{Character list | Name = Sheila Broflovski | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/sheila-broflovski.png }} ===Body Count=== The epic battle between girls and boys leaves a couple children injured, but only one dead: Kenny, who has his head sliced in half by a boomerang. {{Character list | Name = Kenny McCormick | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/kids/kenny-mccormick.png }} ==Locations== {{Location list | Name = South Park Elementary | Image = http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/locations/school.jpg }} ==Behind The Scenes== ===Where Did The Idea Come From=== Trey and Matt were channeling some of their anger over the STD scares of the 1980s, which they feel marred their own teenage sex lives. ==Pop Culture References== ===Shout Outs=== When Butters, wearing a hockey mask, tells the girls in their fort to "just walk away," he's mimicking the character Humungus from The Road Warrior. This famous Mel Gibson film will also be referenced in "Eat, Prey, Queef". ===Pwn'd=== Stan and Kyle torture a doll with a magnifying glass, pretending that it's Jennifer Lopez. As the doll melts, Stan shouts, "Scream for me, bitch!" They torture the same J-Lo doll in the previous episode, "Cartmanland", only that time, it was with fireworks. ==Bonus Factoids== ===Pointless Observations=== The Parent's Book Club is discussing the Steinbeck novel Cannery Row. Ike was reading the same novel in "Do The Handicapped Go to Hell?" . "For Maximus Protection" the boys buy some Gladiator 'Lil Mini's' condoms. Kenny will purchase some Big Mamba condoms in "The Ring", although his pharmacist is a lot more supportive. Mrs. Choksondik is a virgin. And Mr. Mackey's nickname in college was: 'That guy with the really big head'. As the credits roll, we don't hear the typical outro. Instead, we are treated to more of Mr. Garrison's kindergarten lecture on sexual positions. This episode contains not one, but two, classic scenes that are almost impossible to watch without cringing: Cartman masturbating a dog to climax, and Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik having sex. During the scene where the boys have the condom box outside, a Visitor is hidden in the trees above Stan. {{Season_List_05|Episode=07}} Summary: Please note that all contributions to South Park Wiki may be edited, altered, or removed by other contributors. If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly, then do not submit it here. You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource (see South Park Wiki:Copyrights for details). Do not submit copyrighted work without permission! Cancel Editing help (opens in new window) Templates used on this page: Template:Character list (edit) Template:Episode Infobox (edit) Template:Location list (edit) Template:Season List 05 (edit)