George R. R. Martin
| Gender | Male |
| Age | 65 |
| Hair Color | Gray |
| Occupation | Author |
| Religion | Agnostic |
| Voiced by | Matt Stone |
| First Appearance | A Song of Ass and Fire |
| Last Appearance | Titties and Dragons |
About
This famous author of fantasy novels lives undisturbed in his New Mexico home, writing his books and mercilessly killing characters that you know and love. You also won't find another human alive who's more obsessed with wieners than George R. R. Martin - and he prefers the floppy and gay ones, since they're non-threatening, according to Butters Stotch. He also prefers riding horses to other modes of transportation for similar reasons. He makes a rare public appearance at the South Park Mall where his obsession becomes his downfall as a shopper kills him for exposing his wiener. He has a habit of promising things that are still on their way, but don't worry, they're coming.
Memorable Quotes
- "They're coming, they're on their way!" (A Song of Ass and Fire)
- "Look at this wiener. Judge it by its size? Rub it three times and it has a surprise." (Titties and Dragons)
Featured Episodes
- A Song of Ass and Fire (s17e08)
- Titties and Dragons (s17e09)