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==Past Love Interests== | ==Past Love Interests== | ||
Cartman has had his fair share of crushes and admirers.... though there's still a lot of confusion over his exact sexual identity. | Cartman has had his fair share of crushes and admirers.... though there's still a lot of confusion over his exact sexual identity. | ||
When Cartman suffered from Tourette's Syndrome, and began making spontaneous confessions of dark secrets, he suddenly admitted in front of hundreds of people to having a crush on [[Patty Nelson]] and that he 'fantasized' about kissing her, a secret that mortified both individuals. Patty has not been seen since. | When Cartman suffered from Tourette's Syndrome, and began making spontaneous confessions of dark secrets, he suddenly admitted in front of hundreds of people to having a crush on [[Patty Nelson]] and that he 'fantasized' about kissing her, a secret that mortified both individuals. Patty has not been seen since. | ||
Revision as of 17:13, 15 January 2017
Eric Theodore Cartman
| Gender | Male |
| Age | 10 |
| Hair Color | Brown |
| Penis Size | 1.2 inches |
| Occupation | Student |
| Grade | 4th Grade |
| Aliases | A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000, Dawg the Hall Monitor, Erica Cartman, The Coon, The Grand Wizard King, Mitch Conner, Mr. Cartmanez, Fatass |
| Religion | Roman Catholic, Blaintologist (formerly) Judaism (formerly) |
| Sexuality | Pansexual |
| Mother | Liane Cartman |
| Father | Jack Tenorman |
| Half-brother | Scott Tenorman |
| Grandmother | Mabel Cartman |
| Grandfather | Harold Cartman |
| Aunt | Lisa Cartman |
| Uncle | Uncle Stinky |
| Uncle | Howard Cartman |
| Cousin | Alexandra Cartman |
| Cousin | Elvin Cartman |
| Cousin | Fred Cartman |
| Girlfriend | Heidi Turner |
| Voiced by | Trey Parker |
| First Appearance | The Spirit of Christmas (Jesus vs. Frosty) |
About
Out of every resident in the small mountain town of South Park, Colorado, the most well-known is probably Eric Theodore Cartman, usually referred to only as ‘Cartman’. He’s just a normal fourth grader who appreciates the simple things in life - watching television, eating junk food, playing video games, and the suffering of those he despises. Once described by a neighbor as “fat, racist, [and] foul-mouthed”, Cartman is also sadistic, arrogant, selfish, narcissistic, and greedy, and frequently places his own desires, needs and reputation above all else in life. His conscious emotions are almost always driven by his own material or emotional desires, and he often feigns the idea that feelings like sympathy or guilt are completely foreign to him, with rare genuine exception.
Greed
Cartman has often detailed his greatest desire since he was two years old, as being nothing less than ten million dollars, cash - and he is always willing to do whatever it takes, or to pursue any scheme, that will advance or achieve this end. Whether it’s hypothetically handling his grandfather's balls, leading a false religious movement, cheating at the Special Olympics, leading his friends to Somalia or just taking advantage of old people, nothing is beneath Cartman if ten million precious dollars (or, occasionally, Colonel’s Fried Chicken) are on the line. Of course, you need to spend money to make money - luckily, Cartman has access to his mother’s credit card and no shortage of creative and dangerous ways to spend or invest it, usually with the expectation of a handsome dividend.
Discrimination and Bigotry
No discussion of Eric Cartman can go by without covering his long and storied history of racial discriminatory behaviors, prejudice against various other groups, and other forms of bigotry. Taking responsibility for his actions is unnecessary when he can simply blame other groups for problems personal, local, national and even international in nature. Over the years, Cartman has exhibited anti-semitism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, internalized fatphobia, ableism, Islamophobia, unapologetic misogynism, racism towards African and Asian Americans, and also a particularly curious discrimination against Gingers, motivating the creation of a dangerous Ginger Separatist Movement. His hatred also extends to things as mundane as lines at amusement parks and the TV series ‘’Family Guy’‘.
The most prominent target of Cartman’s prejudice has been the Jewish religion, and he has often expressed beliefs in anti-Jewish conspiracy theories and sympathy towards Nazi ideologies, including an open and unbashed admiration for Nazi leader Adolf Hitler. This bigotry has frequently manifested in bullying and hate crimes towards his Jewish classmate Kyle Broflovski and occasionally Kyle’s mother and father. Though the two are generally friends and have much in common, Cartman will never hesitate for a chance to humiliate him or his religious beliefs, which from the backbone of many of their frequent disagreements. Cartman has even exhibited a desire to eliminate the Jewish people entirely from the face of the Earth, and was grounded for a few weeks for one such attempt. He did not learn a valuable lesson from the experience. He doesn't seem to be aware that Jesus Christ is actually a Jew and that the Romans mainly killed Jesus.
Of course, despite this divisive and inflammatory rhetoric against others, Cartman will always be happy to feign tolerance, or skew his views, if he can take advantage of group benefits or utilize them to his convenience. He has posed as mentally handicapped, imitated Tourette’s Syndrome, admitted his obesity to recieve a free mobile scooter and recently, posed as a transwoman, all to take advantage of benefits given to groups he has often spoken out against. When he became a possible target of his own movement, he began preaching love and tolerance for his own safety, a factoid that was not missed upon by those around him. Cartman even briefly converted to Judaism on one occasion, for fear of a vengeful God, but the development was not followed up upon.
However, Cartman’s greatest hatred is reserved only for the dreaded Hippies, a group he has studied extensively and is uniquely qualified to handle. Cartman has made multiple efforts to exterminate them in South Park to mixed success, but has often secured the popular support of the town in these efforts nonetheless. (Nobody likes Hippies.)
Personality
Despite his largely selfish and sadistic nature, Cartman is human nonetheless and occasionally shows a more sensitive side. He has soft spots for his stuffed animals, most notably his treasured Clyde Frog, as well as for cats, going to great lengths to protect Mr. Kitty when cats were banned in South Park, and eventually many members of the same species. He will often offer his services or assistance to those he respects, such as Rob Reiner, Mel Gibson or Billy Mays, with little to no expectation of benefit. Though he is rarely willing to admit it to anyone, it has been shown that Cartman does care deep down about his friends Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters and Jimmy, as well as his mother and Chef.
When the boys were all in the third grade, they were far more immature and naive than they are now. Cartman’s bigotry often appeared rooted in gullibility and misunderstanding, often imitating or remarking upon things he had supposedly heard from adults, rarely stretching to outright malice. While Stan, Kyle and Kenny seemed to become less mischievous and greedy over time, Cartman has since become more rebellious and even more dangerous. While still the same spoiled rotten self around other children he is today, Cartman often cleaned up his act around adults and often sought their approval and even companionship as a sign of maturity. It wasn’t until Cartman’s faithful confrontation with Scott Tenorman in the fourth grade that he began to display a more outright sadistic and cynical streak and remains a formative moment for him as a character inside and outside the series’ universe.
Relationships
Cartman’s social standing at South Park Elementary has never been strong, and he is widely disliked amongst other students, many of whom have expressed displeasure at having to work with him on projects. He was voted ugliest boy in school on the un-doctored list and students cheered to watch Wendy Testaburger beat him up on the playground. Cartman has refused to believe others’ insistence that they do not like him, and remains convinced that he is very popular, and will do whatever is necessary to maintain that reputation. However, on many occasions, especially when up against outside threats, other students will turn to Cartman as a leader, whether it’s to acquire a list, find out which kid has lice, bully a new kid, or stand up to the new principal.
School faculty such as Herbert Garrison and Principal Victoria have increasingly acknowledged Cartman’s repeated offenses and often expressed exasperation with him, but other adult characters rarely acknowledge his history of negative behavior. His criminal record is notoriously extensive (as detailed below) but has rarely ever been dealt with beyond the occasional grounding or detention. Adults generally treat Cartman the same as other fourth graders, assuming the best in him. He has, in turn, cultivated the image of an innocent, weak, even “nerdy” little boy in front of adults as a defense mechanism against them, and even in hopes of accomplishing his goals. Though he had previously seemed interested in gaining their approval, more often today he merely seems to enjoy manipulating them.
Since the arrival of PC Principal in town, Cartman has been trying to turn his life around, admitting to his years of racial bias and prejudice and trying to turn himself around and become a better person... though he continued to exhibited some bigotry, his efforts to improve himself seemed to intensify when Skankhunt42 began to troll the school message and Cartman was widely suspected of his crimes. His attempts to defuse the complex situation failed, and he was eventually cut off from all forms of social media by his former friends.
Eccentricities
Cartman's psychology is complex, but reflects being the only child of a single mother. He has exhibited several signs of insecurity related to his lack of a father, including crying himself to sleep and being uncomfortable when reminded about it, while his mother often views him as a a friend instead of a son, only occasionally disciplining him. Though he denies it, he is often shown to greatly value his peers’ opinions of him and has gone to great lengths to try to impress them. He often tries to project an image of masculinity, and tries to hides or suppress signs of fear or weakness, such as being beaten up by a girl. It has also been sometimes implied his negative attitude may be influenced by other students’ bullying about his weight. His history of sexual abuse (see below) has also produced dangerous ideas of sexuality.
When his fragile psychological state is disrupted, his “mental gymnastics” try to pay respect his complex ego by placing himself at the center of attention, even in the most dangerous of situations, and when further disturbed, he often has tea parties with his stuffed animals, such as Clyde Frog, as a way of settling his mind... and while they mostly compliment him, even they seem to occasionally talk back to him. Whenever confronted with uncomfortable situations, he often creates highly dramatic and complex plans that often involve murdering the sources of his problems or those close to him, and framing Token.
By night, Cartman becomes the infamous and heavily trademarked superhero The Coon. He originally joined forces with the other boys to form Coon and Friends, but when they all turned against him, he teamed up with the Dark Lord Cthulhu instead. The ‘Coon’ brand remains important to him, and rumor has it that Cartman is planning to a massive superhero franchise with himself- er, his beloved character, at the center.
Notable Skills
Despite his selfish and lazy nature, Cartman has acquired a surprising number of diverse and specific skills over the years.
- Emotional manipulation is Cartman’s trademark trick, and it rarely fails him when dealing with adults, whether it’s playing the victim to his convenience, flattering his foes into submission, just good ol’ fashioned blackmail, or just flat-out making things up, no form of manipulation is out of the question if it helps him achieve his goals, whether it’s acting shy and weak to get out of a fight or pretending to be cute to banish his friends to a dark oblivion. This is the skill that caught General Tso’s attention and lead Cartman to help rig an election.
- His confidence and decisiveness often lend themselves well to positions of leadership within the kids, especially during tough times when the kids are working towards a common goal, such as retrieving an artifact, and the entire town followed his lead in repelling the dangerous hippie infestation incident. The other kids notably turned to Cartman for help against the threat of a new Principal.
- Cartman is fluent in multiple languages, and has exhibited knowledge of English and Spanish on multiple occasions throughout the series, as well as a few nods to German (in “The Passion of the Jew” and “Funnybot”) and a hint of French.
- Cartman’s remarkable talent for business has been shown more than once, and he has been prominent with a number of companies over the years, from the Parental Revenge Center of Western America to The Washington Redskins start-up company. His most successful endeavor, however, was his work with the short-lived Crack Baby Athletic Association, which he lost in a bad business deal with the President of EA Sports.
- Although Cartman usually has his mother do the cooking for him, if it serves a greater purpose, he’ll step up to the kitchen in himself, such as cooking hamburgers... but laxative-laced treats are a favorite revenge trick of his, as shown in “Bass to Mouth”. And some would tell you his chili recipe is positively to die for!
- Cartman’s fighting ability is heavily disputed, but he usually wins through forms of deceit or intimidation, rather than for any sheer skill. He did seem to defeat Dr. David Nelson in a brawl at the playground on one occasion... on the other hand, Wendy gave him a beating to remember for making fun of breast cancer, the number of times Kyle has injured him is just too many to count, and PC Principal sent him to the hospital.
- Perhaps most notably, Cartman has repeatedly displayed a talent for expressing himself in song and music - probably more so than any other character on South Park! His greatest hits include covers of “Come Sail Away”, and Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”. (see below for more)
Favorite Foods
Far more than any other regular character in the show, Cartman is depicted eating. His obesity is largely treated as caused by his sheer gluttony more so than any kind of genetics, and he seems to lose body weight quickly in situations where he can’t eat whatever he wants.
We’ve mentioned elsewhere in this article that Cartman’s favorite meal is generally Colonel Sanders’ Kentucky Fried Chicken, a favorite since his childhood before the show began, and when the restaurant was banned in Colorado, not only did he show multiple signs of addiction, including withdrawl, but he displayed an uncanny ability to discern KFC from other restaurants’ gravy.
He’s also displayed a general, non-specific fondness for Mexican food, though no loyalty to any restaurant - he’s eaten at such Mexican food restaraunts as La Taco, Chipotle, Taco Bell, El Pollo Loco, and La Nueva Familia but by far, his favorite restaraunt of all-time is the Mexican-themed restaurant Casa Bonita, but it’s far more than the food that draws Cartman back there again and again.
When the boys were in the third grade, Cartman’s favorite snack was unquestionably Cheesy Poofs, a Canadian brand of cheese puffs, often eating them on the couch as early as the show’s first episode. He notably went to great lengths to secure a brief appearance in one of their television commercials. Their origins were explained in an early draft of the movie but later cut, and the snack’s use has declined considerably since. “A History Channel Thanksgiving” depicts the only instance of Cartman eating them since the show’s ninth season.
Despite this, Cheesy Poofs remain iconic and recognizable to even the most casual South Park fan, and they’ve been marketed as a real snack on occasion, most recently in 2011.
Additional items:
- Cartman’s mentioned a love of Chicken Pot Pies, including Chocolate Chicken Pot Pies, on more than one occasion. (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
- Don’t forget Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise, a special item that dates back to the very first episode, but has reappeared as late as “Raising the Bar”.
- He loves Chef’s Fudge ‘Ems, and is actually the one to coin the ‘Salty Chocolate Balls’ line. (Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls)
- Snacky S'more's commercials appear prominently in a few episodes, including “Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson” and Cartman certainly seems fond of them.
- He seems to be a fan of Chocolate Guns, but he likes the marshmallow filled chocolate guns, not the peanut ones. (How To Eat With Your Butt)
- When business is booming, he takes Kyle, Butters Craig and Clyde out to the bacon-themed Baconalia nights at Denny’s. (Crack Baby Athletic Association)
- A nice ‘Poutine in a hot tub is a great way to clear your head, which is why Cartman shares a hot tub of McDonald’s french fries and KFC gravy with Kyle, apparently. (Crack Baby Athletic Association)
- In “Gluten Free Ebola”, Cartman seems most affected by the loss of pancakes at breakfast time, and meets Aunt Jemimah in a dream.
Fighting Record
As mentioned, Cartman’s fighting record is difficult to analyze. We’ve tried to compile a solid record here, but it’s not always easy to identify which fights should and should not count and who does or doesn’t win. This is more of a guideline than a
- He achieves a nice VICTORY in “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut” against Saddam Hussein, but utilizes the power of his electronic V-Chip.
- Token Black and Butters hand him a DEFEAT when he fails to win them a Platinum CD in “Christian Rock Hard”.
- He fights Kenny to a DRAW in “Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes”
- He achieves a debatable VICTORY in “With Apologies to Jesse Jackson”, holding down Dr. David Nelson and making him say “uncle”.
- He (and his team) bear mace several people over the course of “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy”... we’ll notch it as one VICTORY.
- He suffers a memorable, and absolutely agonizing, DEFEAT at the hands of Wendy Testaburger in “Breast Cancer Show Ever”.
- The Coon nobly defends the town against a ‘rapist’ during “The Coon”, and in addition to a passing reference to a ‘titty twister’ to Professor Chaos, he later defeats his lackey General Disarray, and then Chaos and Dissaray again while teaming up with Mysterion... none of these are clear-cut, so we’ll call it a DOUBLE VICTORY.
- When Coon and Friends rebels against the Coon’s leadership in “Coon 2: Hindsight”, he achieves a DOUBLE VICTORY against both Mosquito and Mint-Berry Crunch as punishment for their treason... it doubles as a nod to ‘’A Clockwork Orange, too.
- A ‘sketti wrestlin’‘ match with Honey Boo Boo during “Raising the Bar” remains pretty evenly-matched, but Cartman prevails with a VICTORY... until Michelle Obama gets involved.
That’s eight victories, two defeats and one major draw - Cartman can be a formidable fighter on his own, but we can’t stop there...
Now, let’s shine a very special spotlight on Cartman and Kyle’s fighting record, which is what most fans are really interested in:
- As early as “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe", Kyle scores a quick VICTORY.
- When Kyle refuses to buy Cartman the final Megaman he needs, and instead buys him ‘Ants in the Pants' in “Damien”, it's a VICTORY FOR CARTMAN!
- We don't see the end results of their cafeteria brawl in “Tweek vs. Craig", so we're just going to call it a DRAW.
- Over the course of “Trapper Keeper”, particularly after Cartman merges with the dreaded device, it’s up to Kyle to disable it... that’s a KYLE VICTORY, folks!
- When Cartman suggests Stan and Kyle make out in “Super Best Friends”, they double-team him to kick him in the balls, leading to a nice STAN AND KYLE TAG-TEAM VICTORY.
- We don’t technically see the whole beatkdown, but we’re pretty sure the conclusion of “Kenny Dies” is a KYLE VICTORY in spirit.
- After being forced to have his face terrifyingly close to Cartman’s ass in “Fun With Veal”, Kyle has to take measures into his own hands when Cartman refuses to own up to his half of the deal... so Kyle wrassles him into submission. KYLE VICTORY!
- Trying to trigger a Kenny vision from Cartman isn’t easy, but thanks to the heroic efforts of Kyle and some lumber to the back of his head, the boys found their golden tickets and won a candy shopping spree. That‘s one KYLE VICTORY for “A Ladder to Heaven”
- Cartman’s hilariously feeble attempt to kill Kyle, and Kyle’s complete submission, makes “Toilet Paper” something of an odd draw... but since Kyle’s still alive, we’ll call it a KYLE VICTORY.
- When Cartman challenges Kyle to a climactic face-off at Christmas in “It’s Christmas in Canada”, all it takes is one easy punch - that’s a textbook KYLE VICTORY.
- It’s pretty obvious that the ‘accidental’ bloody nose while out snow shoveling in “Goobacks” is another solid KYLE VICTORY.
- The most-hyped of all Kyle and Cartman battles comes to a heavy DRAW at the conclusion of their slap-happy smackdown “Cartoon Wars Part II”.
- A playground beatdown in "Tonsil Trouble” has to be interrupted by the school faculty, but it’s a strong KYLE VICTORY nonetheless.
- Although they fight at one point during “W.T.F.”, we better not go into that confusing brawl due to the mixed combatants.
- Although it’s an easy and effortless KYLE VICTORY in “It’s a Jersey Thing” when Cartman talks about him being a Jersey traitor... it’s Cartman who uses that little 'scratch’ on his neck to an advantage in convincing Butters, Jason, Bill, Fosse, Dogpoo and Bradley Biggle that Kyle really is a traitor to their cause.
- No, we’re NOT counting what happened to him with Snooki as a loss - rape doesn’t belong in this section. It’s listed under ‘Sexual Abuse’ (below)
- It’s not really much of a fight, but Kyle pushes Cartman down on the playground in “Cartman Finds Love” when Cartman pretends they’re a gay couple, he ends up in the snow and doesn’t fight back. It’s a weak KYLE VICTORY.
Going over the statistics, Cartman’s record is pretty solid... but it’s nothing when he’s up against Kyle Broflovski, a champion in his own right, with THIRTEEN victories so far counted, a few draws, and only one flat-out loss against Cartman over twenty seasons of history and carnage.
Weapons of Choice
Cartman has carried a few weapons on occasions, most notably a Glock Pistol he acquired illegally in “Wing”, and was used in self-defense against the Chinese mafia, which stuck with him through some later episodes such as “Cartoon Wars Part II”, where he uses it to threaten Kyle. He acquires a rifle in “World War Zimmerman”, but this rifle and the aforementioned Glock seem to be gone by “PC Principal Final Justice”, which he purchases additional weapons... rumor also has it he once purchased five hundred AK-47‘s.
He’s also carried a knife with him that was seen mostly in “Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes” but has since mostly been replaced by other weapons. When all else fails or is otherwise unavailable, there’s always a trusty wiffle ball bat, too.
Criminal Record
Despite being only ten years old, Cartman has an extensive and notorious criminal record, including five arrests.
- Let’s kick off the long list with the LEAST severe thing Cartman’s ever done -- hitchhiking is illegal in many states, including Colorado, and Cartman hitchhikes in “Imaginationland” to make to Washington D. C..
- Cartman has committed numerous instances of Vandalism over the years, such as breaking down a neighbor’s fence, toilet papering houses on multiple occasions, and destroying Butters’ property on multiple occasions out of frustration.
- No stranger to the crime of Embezzlement, Cartman will stop at nothing to acquire some cash, such as pretending to be running a religious charity in the manner of a televangelist, opening his own false Church, performing miracles and asking kids for donations, and then bathing in said donations.
- Cartman commits the similar crime of Credit Card Fraud' when he borrows his mother's credit card in multiple episodes, most notably “Fatbeard”, to pay for luxuries.
- Blackmail has frequently been employed by Cartman as a tactic against his foes, most recently against PC Principal, whom Cartman tried to frame for molesting Butters Stotch so that they didn’t have to serve a detention. He also attempted to blackmail Captain Hindsight to join the Coon and Friends team.
- This skill later saves the entire planet when Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny blackmail the Joozians with a photograph of two Joozian executives committing an alien sexual act, in order to keep them from destroying the Earth.
- Like all members of the town of South Park, Cartman has been accused of Slander, and committed on dozens of occasions in some shape or form, but his most notable instance of slander was falsely accusing his mother of incestuous sexual abuse (“fucking” him) at Best Buy on national television in hopes of procuring a HUMANCENTiPAD.
- Early in his criminal career, Cartman committed Plagarism by submitting ‘Walden’ by Henry David Thoreau with his own name to a contest, winning a celebrity appearance in town in “Weight Gain 4000”... he’s not improved much since, basing Faith +1’s entire career as a Christian rock group by reusing popular songs and changing the word ‘baby’ to ‘Jesus’.
- Another common tactic in his playbook is Fraud by pretending to be mentally disabled in order to participate in the Special Olympics, and later, to be on television. He also pretended to be transgendered for access to a special bathroom.
- There are a few instances of Cartman violating Pure Food and Drug laws - sometimes intentionally as an act of revenge or sabotage, like the laxative-laced foods he prepares in “Bass to Mouth”... or like his short-lived Cartman Burger business, where he prepared hamburgers for a false diagnosis with Asperger’s syndrome, and ended up selling multiple burgers to other townspeople that had been exposed to his flatulence... although that seems to be why they tasted so good. The customers seemed more sickened by the news than the food itself.
- Cartman committed a disputed Hate Crime by throwing a rock at Token Black while playing, which lead to his first arrest and secured him a place in Juvenile Hall, where he befriended Romper Stomper .. he was successfully freed by Stan, Kyle and Token’s hard-fought efforts... he subsequently threw a rock at Pip Pirrup for being “French”.
- Multiple acts of Arson can be prescribed to Cartman, many of them accidental... but perhaps the most surprising was when it was discovered that he had lit his family home on fire as part of an attempt to grow up by killing off his beloved stuffed animals.
- The boys, lead by Cartman, have performed Unlicensed Surgery on Butters in order to remove excess fat as part of a scheme with the owner of City Wok... luckily, they escaped responsibility and Butters was grounded for it.
- Cartman has submitted Falsified Evidence to the police before, most notably when posing as a psychic, using his falsified powers to frame others for the Left Hand Killer murders. He also anonymously reported a meth lab he had created as belonging to his mother so that he could be placed in a foster home - this lead to one of the few instances where Cartman was arrested by the Park County Police.
- Add Theft to the rap sheet - most notably, Cartman stole the televisions of everyone in South Park on the night of the 2008 election, while everyone was either panicking or partying, so that he could sell the televisions the next day. He also shoplifts Vagisil in order to make himself stupid, but only because Butters didn't bring money with.
- The boys committed grave-robbing when they used Cleo Broflovski's rooting corpse to scare the Fifth Graders on Halloween, unaware they were causing any broader harm... in a non-canonical deleted scene from “Dead Celebrities”, they were also to dig up the corpse of Michael Jackson to prove to his spirit that he was deceased.
- Some of his actions could qualify as Animal Abuse, such as a claim he broke Kenny's Cat's leg, and some of his behaviors towards Mr. Kitty and Fluffy, though he generally seems to care about them and these instances are played for humor.
- In the middle of the Beaverton disaster, Cartman found the time in his busy schedule to commit Armed Robbery at gunpoint against Kyle for his ‘Jew Gold’, which Kyle reluctantly hands over after a decoy bag. In the distant future, he also robs two kids playing with a Crank Prank Time Phone with a laser gun.
- Speaking of which, his familiar Glock pistol was acquired illegally in “Wing" and therefore Cartman is in violation of Firearm Possession laws.
- Cartman has learned much from his Mission Impossible Breaking and Entering playset, and has admitted to breaking into Kyle's room “loads of times”, from the first season on. His criminal skill was so valuable Stan, Kyle and Butters sought his playset and skills in infiltrating a veal ranch... not to mention the aforementioned theft of televisions neighborhood-wide.
- Whenever possible, Cartman will avoid the consequences of his actions... so it should come as no surprise that Resisting Arrest is on this list. Kenny’s batter-operated Go-Go Action Bronco lead the Park County Police on a chase to the Mexican border, and he ran through Casa Bonita with knowledge of his upcoming arrest, trying to make the most of his moments of freedom.
- Knowledge of complex and inhumane Torture Methods is familiar to Cartman, who was authorized by the United States government to drink apple juice and fart on Mr. and Mrs. Hakeem until they confessed their son’s whereabouts.
- He used similar methods on Billy Turner when he called Cartman ‘chubby’, tying him to a flagpole ala the ‘Saw’ films and suggesting Billy had to cut his foot away.
- While working as a Hippie Exterminator, Cartman kidnapped and falsely imprisoned sixty-three hippies in his basement, who were later freed by Officer Barbrady and leading to his only arrest at Barbrady's hands.
- Cartman’s complex web of deception towards Butters in “Casa Bonita” leads to him being declared a missing child... when Butters is finally discovered, Cartman is placed under arrest by the Park County Police on Kidnapping charges.
- The mighty Professor Chaos was also imprisoned in the Coon's basement for several days for the protection of humanity during the Coon saga... well, that's Cartman's version of the story. The forceful confinement of Butters Stotch is a recurring crime of his.
- His superhero alter-ego The Coon has secured Cartman a strike for Vigilantism, though the police force overlooked this in his debut episode.
- Speaking of alter-egos, thanks to Ming Lee, Cartman could technically be considered guilty of Prostitution, and has also imitated a prostitute on two separate occasions - once for an undercover operation, and one for fame and glory on Maury.
- Involvement with drugs is familiar to the Cartman family, many members of whom use crack cocaine... so it’s no surprise he used this accessibility to fund his Crack Baby Athletic Association, handing it out to recovering addicts in an excuse to use their children, which is classified by some as Slavery or Child Abuse, in addition to the less ambiguous felony Drug Possession with intent to distribute...
- And, if we count the Colonel’s Chicken ban in South Park, he’s also guilty of Smuggling, having gradually become the leader of an underground chicken smuggling ring.
- Cartman’s involvement with Colonel’s Chicken wasn’t his first experience with Organized Crime either, having previously tried to work with Loogie on such a scheme to swindle money off kids' tooth fairy money for a Sega DreamCast.
- We don't know the details of the cheesing ban law that Kyle's Dad had passed, but if we count cats as drug contraband, Cartman is once again guilty.
- His involvement with Piracy involved two events in quick succession: heading to Somalia with classmates in a bid to become feared Somalian Pirates under his leadership, and later, joining Stan Marsh’s violent but entertaining anti-whaling crew, in a bid to get on television. Despite being mostly un-involved, he is arrested by the Japanese authorities along with Stan and Kenny. He hasn’t sailed the high seas since.
- Cartman has manufactured and created a number of Induced Panics over the years, most notably in “World War Zimmerman", when he causes dozens of deaths, directly and indirectly, in his paranoia about a “virus” he ascribes to Token Black and later, George Zimmerman, despite no virus existing or occurring.
- While he has plotted against the United States government on multiple occasions, the highest instance of Treason committed by Eric Cartman was his interference with the United States presidential election, 2012, where he stole presidential ballots from key swing states to ensure the false election of Barack Obama.
- Combine this with War Crimes and you'll get Cartman's ill-fated rebellion against the United States government under the guise of Confederate general Robert E. Lee, where he lead his drunken soldiers, men and children, and promised them “plunder and women”.
- Cartman has encouraged others to commit Suicide on multiple occasions, and South Park Elementary held him responsible, particularly, for the suicide of a student named Cory Doran, spear-heading a campaign to make fun of him. The incident was so severe the teachers tried to prevent the same fate from befalling Pete Melman, leading Cartman to give laxatives to Jenny Simons... making her shit her pants, and leading her to attempt suicide. He also sent false text messages to the wife of a psychologist who had called him fat, causing her to kill herself over the phone.
- Cartman committed Vehicular Manslaughter of multiple NASCAR drivers and fans, including over eleven people and Danica Patrick, in “Poor and Stupid”... as an underage driver, albeit a highly-sponsored one.
- On multiple occasions, Cartman has attempted Murder, most notably against his classmate Token Black in “World War Zimmerman”, whom he deceived and then shot at point-blank via a ‘stand your ground’ law. He gave serious consideration to murdering his mother in “Tsst”, when she ceased catering to his needs, and was stopped with knife in hand. He has threatened to kill Stan, Kenny, Butters and most prominently, Kyle, on numerous occasions, though he has only occasionally tried to follow through on these threats, most notably in “Toilet Paper”.
- Cartman has never successfully murdered anyone himself, but he did cross the line into pre-mediated Murder, if via proxy, with Jack Tenorman and his wife... by reporting them as violent criminals to Rancher Bill Denkins, leading him to fatally shoot them. He also committed Inteference with a Criminal Investigation when he stole their remains to ground them up into chili and fed them to their son as part of a revenge plot, adding enforced Cannibalism to our list. This is, to date, the only successful and pre-meditated murder that could ever be traced back to Cartman.
- He also indirectly and impulsively committed Manslaughter while serving on the U. S. Border Patrol by tasering a group of Mexicans whom were soaked in water, electrocuting them instantly.
- Though it’s safer not to hold it against him canonically, he’s been responsible for some of Kenny’s deaths, accidental or otherwise, such as hitting him with a frying pan in “Timmy 2000” while hallucinating.
- In a flashback dream sequence, he brutally killed a messenger boy to the first Continental Congress.
- Cartman had compared his own actions to Terrorism on multiple occasions, and is more than happy to use fear to get whatever he wants... threatening to bomb a hospital to unmask Mysterion’s secret identity, terrorizing a FedEx building with other angry people, or most notably, threatening to kill Doug the President of FOX if he didn’t pull an episode of “Family Guy”.
- He also commits notable Medical Terrorism when he intentionally infects Kyle with the AIDS virus in “Tonsil Trouble” after previous threats to do so, angered that Kyle did not take his diagnosis seriously.
- Perhaps a special note should be reserved that in “Naughty Ninjas”, Cartman actually speaks with the Leader of ISIS and they come to many agreements, particularly about the Jewish people.
- One of the greatest crimes against humanity known to man, yes, Cartman has even attempted the Genocide of the Jewish people, most notably by leading a march in “The Passion of the Jew”... an incident that landed him a severe grounding. He’s not given up hope, and implored the dark and mighty Cthulhu to destroy the Jewish race as well, as well as the Hippies.
History of Sexual Abuse
Cartman has undergone extensive sexual abuse throughout his life and has been victimized (or survived attempts to victimize him) by adults on numerous occasions throughout the series, often but only at the hands of adults, which seem to have traumatized him. We’re not even trying to be funny about this here.
- He, at some point in the past, touched wieners with one of his cousins. (Le Petit Tourette)
- He implied on one occasion that he had been forced by his mother to watch her have sex with an unidentified man, while Cartman was dressed as a mailman. (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
- He participated in an online chat with a number of pedophiles online who sent him sexual messages and offered to meet him in real life. As a member of their organization, NAMBLA, he posed for posters. (Cartman Joins NAMBLA)
- Cartman, along with many of the male students at South Park Elementary, attended a party with members of NAMBLA who attempted to have sexual relations with them. (Cartman Joins NAMBLA)
- Scoutmaster Mr. Grazier forced Cartman and many of his male classmates take nude photographs in the shower and threatened to hurt them if they told on Grazier. Cripple Fight
- An unidentified man once allowed Cartman to suck semen “out of a hose” if he closed his eyes. (The Simpsons Already Did It)
- Cartman once gave Hollywood Actor Ben Affleck a handjo- er, Cartman was once sound asleep while Affleck had sexual relations with Hennifer Lopez in Cartman’s bed. (Fat Butt and Pancake Head)
- The head of Catamount Pictures once exposed himself to Cartman believing him to be a robot ‘pleasure model’. (AWESOM-O)
- After being heavily brainwashed by the Super Adventure Club, Chef solicited sex from Cartman, as well as the other boys. (The Return of Chef)
- Cartman placed his mouth on Butters’ penis and exposed this action to his classmates in a photograph in school, and attempted to solicit oral sex from Butters. (Cartman Sucks)
- The Snooki monster was depicted raping him and Dogpoo Petuski at Sizzler, before Kyley-B rescued them, an action Cartman appreciated. (It’s A Jersey Thing)
- At Cartman’s own insistence, he and his classmates have exposed their penises to each other and measured them for accuracy. (T.M.I.)
- Cartman has been heard shouting “Paula Poundstone, leave me alone!” and “No, Uncle Jesse, no!” while waking up from sleep on different occasions, though these are pop cultural references and may not necessarily be sexual or even canonical.
As a result of these experiences, Cartman has consistently displayed several misconceptions and negative feelings towards sexual behavior, often equating any such behavior with rape and sexual assault, most notably mistaking a consensual kiss as a rape in “The Coon”, and exhibiting a similar assumption in “South Park: The Fractured But Whole”, where he suggests sex between two parents is a traumatic experience, and a breach of trust, and seems unaware of the relationship between sex and pregnancy.
He has also indicated an association of oral sex as a form of humiliation, not only in his catchphrase “suck my balls” but more dramatically in “Go God Go” and the “Imaginationland” episodes, but even exhibits repeated confusion as to why Kenny would desire oral sex for pleasure from his girlfriend in “The Ring”.
Memorable Quotes
- "Yea I want Cheesy Poofs!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
- "No Kitty, this is MY pot pie!!!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
- "BEEFCAKE!!" (Weight Gain 4000)
- "I’m not fat! I’m festively plump!" (Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo)
- "I am a COP and you will respect my authoritah!" (Chickenlover)
- "I wasn't saying anything about their culture. I was just saying their city smells like ass." (Rainforest Schmainforest)
- "Do you like it? Do you like it, Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman chili." (Scott Tenorman Must Die)
- "Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya! I made you eat your par-ents! Nya nya nya nya NYAAAA nya!" (Scott Tenorman Must Die)
- "Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott! Mmmm, your tears are so yummy and sweet." (Scott Tenorman Must Die)
- "CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!!!" (Cripple Fight)
- "There's so much to do at Cartmanlaaaaaand, but you can't come! Especially you, Stan and Kyle." (Cartmanland)
- “Oh si, si, si…” (Fat Butt and Pancake Head)
- "BUT THEY SAID I CANT BE IN THEIR CLUB!" (Krazy Kripples)
- "I’m not fat, I just have a sweet hockey body." (Grey Dawn)
- "I’ve sometimes looked at people with disabilities as people God put here on earth for my amusement.” (Up the Down Steroid)
- "They're not PEOPLE, they're HIPPIES!!!" (Die Hippie, Die)
- "Vote for TURD SANDWICH. This is the MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF YOU LIFE. Turd Sandwich brings the hope for change. A vote for Turd Sandwich is a vote for tomorrow" (Douche and Turd)
- "He's a Jewish Dolphin... A Jewphin." (Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina)
- "HOW DO I REEEEECH THESE KEEEEEDS!?!?!?!?" (Eek, A Penis!)
- "DA FUCK!?" (Fatbeard)
- "Me and Kinny don't give two shits about stupid ass whales!" (Whale Whores)
- "I cannot offer you or your child any CASH. I CAN however... offer you a little bit of crack." (Crack Baby Athletic Association)
- "Boooooo. Boo Wendy. Boo Wendy Testaburger. Boo." (Informative Murder Porn)
- "Uh trust me, he's not fat and unimportant. I think we need to change his status to ripped and sweet." (Let Go, Let Gov)
- “They don't salute in Game of Thrones, Butters.” (Black Friday)
- "Boner Balls. B-Boner Forest. Dense Boner Forest." (Go Fund Yourself)
- "Sitting on our asses, here we come!" (Go Fund Yourself)
- "Fuck, I want pancakes..." (Gluten Free Ebola)
- "CARTMAN BRAAAAAH!" (#REHASH)
- "Speak Through the hood, KINNY!" (#REHASH)
- ”Kyle, believe me... I know the struggle with hatred. Let's make ourselves better people... together.“ (Stunning and Brave)
- "David! David! David!" (You’re Not Yelping)
- "I'm now the leader of thousands of people! They all hang on my every word! [softly] And I'm gonna use my power to finally get what this town really needs." (You’re Not Yelping)
- ”Hey Kyle. You wanna see what people said about my dick pic? Everyone's pretty stoked on it. “ (Safe Space)
- "Every time Amy Schumer talks about her vagina, I lose my fucking mind." (The Damned)
- "Do girls not have balls?" (The Damned)
Catchphrases
Cartman has coined a number of memorable and iconic phrases since the show’s very first episode that have helped to cement his status as the series’ most popular character and a pop culture icon. Since the early second season, they have often appeared in merchandising for the show, and sometimes appear in other media to reference South Park. They are even sometimes used by other characters, like Stan, Kenny, or Clyde.
In recent years, Matt and Trey use these phrases much more rarely, but Cartman still uses them on occasion.
- "Eh!"
- "I'm not fat, I'm big boned!"
- "Screw you guys, I’m going home!"
- "No kitty! That’s a bad kitty!!"
- "Seriously, you guys!" or “I’m so seriously!”
- “But meeeehm!”
- "Kewl." or "That's kewl."
- "I'll kick you in the nuts!!" or “I’ll kick you squah in the nuts!” (debuted in ”An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig“)
- "I hate you guys." or “I love you guys.” (debuted in “Cartman’s Mom is a Dirty Slut”)
- "Respect my authoritah!" or “Respect my authoritay!” (debuted in ”Chickenlover“)
- "Suck my balls!" (most famously in ”South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut“)
- "I'll make you eat your parents." (debuted in ”Scott Tenorman Must Die“)
- "You're breakin' my balls." (debuted in ”Kenny Dies“)
- "Whatevuh, I do what I want!" (debuted in ”Freak Strike“)
- ”Kevin godammit.“ (debuted in ”The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers“)
Life Lessons
- "Poor people tend to live in clusters."
- "Drugs are bad because if you do drugs, you’re a hippie, and hippie suck.”
- "It’s a man’s obligation to stick his boneration into a woman’s separation. This sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation”
- "I'm gonna spend my whole childhood eating what I want and doin' drugs when I want! WHATEVER! I will do what I want!"
- "Heaven could be like the pixie fairies of Bubble Yum™ Forest. You only see them if you really believe in them”
- "We're in this together, Craig! If Butters tells on us then we're gonna tell on you. That's the Ninja code!"
- "These are what we call giggling stoners. Pretty common form of hippie usually found in the attics. Problem is, if you see one hippie, there’s probably a whole lot more you’re not seeing”
- "What awaits each person in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest, and ten thousand dollars, cash.” *"Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least $8."
- "Everyone knows that only poor people get lice."
- "Real guitars are for old people."
- "Okay, our mission failed but we learned a lot. Primarily that girls do not have balls”
- "Remember Bill Beelicheck. Head coach of the New England Patriots. He’s won three Super Bowls. How? He cheated. He even got caught cheating and nobody cared! He proved that in America, it’s aright to cheat, as long as you cheat your way to the top”
- "Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, and do whatever you want all the time, you could miss it."
- "I’d rather us be Chinese than A NATION OF UNETHICAL DICK SHOOTERS. Think about it”
- "This just goes to show that hard work doesn’t pay off. I’m going to be a homeless drug addict from now on!”
- “Kyle, that's the way the world works! If you wanna find some quality friends, you gotta wade through all the dicks first!”
- “Don‘t ask why Kenny wanted to be a chick, that‘s just how he seems to be rolling right now.”
- “Even if I don’t agree with his hateful bigoted thoughts... it doesn’t mean I’ll stand by while Kyle’s intolerance is dealt with violently.”
- “Sometimes joking about un-PC things can actually be important, because it starts a dialogue.”
- "I guess just because I don’t understand [homosexuality], doesn’t mean I can’t support it.”
- ”Girls rule, women are funny, get over it.”
- "I guess I didn't deserve a second chance."
- "I don't have any friends. I don't know if I ever did."
Greatest Hits
It's surprising to everyone, but Cartman actually has quite the singing voice -- you can rock out with some of his greatest hits right here!
- “Kyle’s Mom is a Stupid Bitch” from “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo” and “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut” - probably Cartman's Greatest Hit of All-Time!
- “Come Sail Away” (cover) from “Cartman’s Mom is Still a Dirty Slut”
- “My Best Friends” from “Spookyfish”
- “Christmas Trees and Pie (O Holy Night)” from “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics”
- “The Dreidel Song” from “Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics” features a little Cartman
- “In the Third Grade...” from “Fourth Grade”
- “The Heat of the Moment” from “Kenny Dies”, featuring the United States Congress
- “Make it Right” from “The Death of Eric Cartman”
- “Super Fun Time” from “Super Fun Time”
- “Do What You Gotta Do”, from “Elementary School Musical”, with Stan, Kyle, and Kenny
- “Queef Free”, from “Eat, Pray, Queef” as part of the larger group.
- “Somalian Pirates We" from “Fatbeard”
- “Poker Face” (cover) from “Whale Whores”
- “Not My Water Park” from “Pee”
- “I Swear” from “Cartman Finds Love”
- “My Safe Space” from “Safe Space”
- "Let's Come Together as a School" from "Douche and a Danish", with Heidi Turner
Alter-Egos
More than any other character in the show, Cartman has created dozens of alter-egos, false identities and costumes - many only to serve his own goals and purposes, such as pretending to be handicapped to win in the Special Olympics, or masquerading as superhero The Coon for fame, glory, and global merchandising rights, or even Hennifer Lopez... nobody's sure where she came from...
No Hat Cartman
Eric Cartman
Visitor Hypnotized Cartman
Cop Cartman
Undercover Prostitute Cop Cartman
Ming Lee
Cartman the Tooth Fairy
Pube-Faced Cartman
The Grand Wizard King
Hennifer Lopez
Mitch Conner
Cartman Star Trek Outfit
Hitler Cartman
A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000
Dawg the Hall Monitor
Slaver Cartman
Border Patrol Cartman
Cupid Cartman
Anime Wizard King
Erica Cartman
CartmanBrah
Cartman Yelp Food Critic
Ninja Cartman
Lawyer Cartman
Sunglasses Cartman
Cartman with Token's Life Matters shirt
Fingerbang Cartman (Non-Dream)
Celebrity Egos
Cartman loves dressing up as celebrities, whether it's for fun or for personal reasons.
Brad Pitt
Gordon Ramsay Cartman
Tom Brady
Britney Spears
Halloween Costumes
Cartman also wears Halloween costumes when he goes out trick-or-treating, even if they're not always politically correct.
Spooky Ghost
The Incredible Cartman
Family
Though Cartman has a huge extended family, he's only ever lived with his loving, doting mother Liane Cartman, who often bends over backwards for whatever her muffin wants in exchange for his company, and their pets Mr. Kitty and the rarely-seen pot-bellied pig Fluffy. The identity of Cartman's father was a closely-guarded secret in the town until a series of conspiracies eventually revealed the true father's identity. (see below)
Liane Cartman (mother)
Non-Canon Family
In an early version of the Unaired Pilot for South Park, Cartman had a father and a sister, neither of whom have appeared in the series' almost twenty-year run. (also see below)
Cartman's Dad
Cartman's Sister
Extended Family
The extended Cartman family mostly lives in Nebraska and share many similar phrases and mannerisms to him, including a strong family history of obesity, save only Cartman's mother, Liane and Cousin Alexandra. His grandmother, Mabel Cartman loved him dearly despite his many imperfections, but died when he was eight years old. She left him one million dollars since the rest of them would presumably spend it on crack. They are also all quite close with convicted murderer Charles Manson, who they visit every year at Christmas. He touched weiners with one of his cousins, but something tells us it's not Alexandra.
He has also has an evil half-brother named Scott Tenorman who conned him out of sixteen dollars and twelve cents a little while ago, but Cartman got his revenge at a memorable chili con carnival... but a while later, Scott would reveal a little surprise of his own.
Cartman has once noted one of his uncles is next-in-line to be a manager at the Gart Brothers store, but nobody knows which one.
Fat Bob Cartman (unknown relation)
Fred Cartman (cousin)
Florence "Great Grandmama" Cartman
Harold Cartman (grandfather)
Howard Cartman (uncle)
Lisa Cartman (aunt)
Mabel Cartman (grandmother, deceased)
Uncle Stinky Cartman
Alexnadria Cartman (cousin)
"Cousin Elvin" Cartman
Jack Tenorman (biological father)
Scott Tenorman (half-brother)
Cartman's Fantasy Family
Girlfriend
Eric Cartman has a surprising history with Heidi Turner that goes back quite a while.
When Cartman began to lead a Church in South Park at the end of the kids' third grade year, he attracted the attention of kids far and wide throughout the town, and among his mass of devoted followers was a little girl named 'Marcy'. Her dedication to the Church and it's maverick ways would lead to her father's death... but it would turn out to be a get-rich-quick scheme gone horribly wrong anyway.
Heidi and Cartman were later partnered for the fourth grade egg project and despite a mutual dissatisfaction with the intial choices, the two took care of their egg, seemed to mostly get along in the end, and when Cartman damaged the egg, he asked Mrs. Garrison to give Heidi a better grade... while it's probably in hopes of averaging it for both of them, it's altruistic by Cartman standards. On a similar note, recieving a full four days of detention from PC Principal for referring to Heidi as "clitty litter" was, surprisingly, enough to temporarily break Cartman's spirit for misbehavior at school.
When the girls are harassed online by a troll named skankhunt42, Heidi is the first to openly accuse Cartman of being behind it, despite his attempts to defuse the situation. The troll's continued abuse eventually drive Heidi over the edge when she tragically quits Twitter... but the two later strike up a friendship when Cartman is forced to leave Twitter as well, and the two begin to spend time together and become friends and mutual "followers", spending time at the park and at McDonald's. She apologizes for her earlier accusations, and they bond over their lack of social media, discussing how women are funny and how sweet n' sour sauce goes with french fries.
When Cartman expresses confusion at what lies at the bottom of a vagina, Heidi is surprised, but offers to show him, which she does briefly offscreen. After seeing Heidi's vagina, Cartman has a spiritual awakening involving visions of such novel concepts as human beings colonizing Mars. Following that encounter, Cartman and Heidi officially became boyfriend and girlfriend and began to date further. The two of them are now constantly holding hands, hanging out at each other's houses, going out to eat together, kissing each other on the lips, referring to each other as "boo" and "babe", giving each other gifts as a sign of their deep love for each other, complimenting each other, and even wearing multiple matching outfits. Essentially, their respective departures have brought both of them happiness while also keeping them out of the brutal gender war taking place at their school.
They have since begun to use their combined happiness to fight internet trolls and try to bring an end to their school's gender war, but their happiness came under threat when Cartman remembered negative comments he made about the Ghostbusters reboot. Only time will tell where their relationship will lead from there. The two have gotten so close ever since they became a couple that Cartman even fears of losing her. Despite Cartman's difficulty of his honesty to Heidi, he has vowed to do the best he can to make both of them happy.
Due to Heidi's more judgmental behavior, some fans have felt she formed a female compliment to Cartman in some of her later appearances. Although the two did not interact directly during Heidi's Slumber Party and re-introduction, she was judgmental towards "Marjorine", leading the other girls in making fun of her, although she soon regets her actions and apologizes. She also frames her friend Allie Nelson as a "two-faced bitch" in "The Stick of Truth" and owns to the label when exposed, thinking it feeds her social life in a positive way. Neither character's negative traits have shown up in Season Twenty.
Heidi Turner
Past Love Interests
Cartman has had his fair share of crushes and admirers.... though there's still a lot of confusion over his exact sexual identity.
When Cartman suffered from Tourette's Syndrome, and began making spontaneous confessions of dark secrets, he suddenly admitted in front of hundreds of people to having a crush on Patty Nelson and that he 'fantasized' about kissing her, a secret that mortified both individuals. Patty has not been seen since. Cartman also displayed an attraction, along with the other boys, to substitute teacher Ms. Ellen. Thanks to the efforts of Cupid Cartman, he was briefly pursued by Stacy Mullenberg, a girl with Halitosis, but eventually Cupid Cartman decided he wanted Cartman all for himself. The exact status of their current relationship is unknown, but they're confirmed to have gone on at least one date, followed by a sexual encounter... no word yet if they're serious.
Patty Nelson
Stacy Mullenberg
Cupid Cartman
Rivalry
Wendy has always had an intense rivalry with Eric Cartman. They argue in class on a frequent basis, and he has targeted her for humiliation on more than one occasion. They can also be very competitive, particularly over the "Save Our Fragile Planet" contest as well as the student body presidency. She has in turn become quite adept at dealing with him, whether it's a matter of fact-based debate, an ass-kicking to remember, or just out-smarting him on school access television. Even when he spends much of his time booing her and accusing her of being a liar, she's not afraid to agree with him on the odd event.
However, on the rare occasion when they found themselves on the same side in the Great Flag Debate, they swapped debate tactics, shared some quadruple-stuffed oreos, and developed a bit of an attraction... which lead to an uncomfortable, public kiss at the Debate. Wendy's attraction to him flamed out immediately afterward, the "sexual tension" resolved, and she later voted him last in the List of Cutest Boys... but Cartman may hold a flame for her yet, notably including her in fantasies where she compliments his weight and ability to fight off Jew-Bots. Nonetheless, he is never afraid to tease her for her liberal beliefs and she certainly isn't afraid to throw down when he steps out of line.
Wendy Testaburger
Mortal Frenemy
While all four boys have been close friends for years and share similar goals of wealth and popularity, there is no weaker link between the four than the sometimes intense rivalry between Cartman and Kyle. While the latter often sees himself as more moral, ethical and philosophical, often trying to take the safest and most logical route to achieve a goal, the notoriously stubborn and selfish Cartman will take what he wants by any means necessary, ethics be damned, a common source of conflict between the two. Cartman relishes oppurtunities to humiliate Kyle, and whether it's saving baby cows, saving the world, or maintaining an impossible peace, there's always an excuse to fart in Kyle's face. On the other hand, while Kyle's ethics are rarely clouded, he can be skeptical of Cartman's leadership and is perfectly willing to strike out on his own when he sees fit as well.
Though they often remain on friendly terms, Cartman nonetheless shows an extremely sadistic side towards Kyle and will stop at nothing to humiliate him, and Kyle in turn often sees humiliating Cartman as morally justifiable, particularly given Cartman's rampant for anti-semitism. The two have also been known to make multiple bets with full intent of humiliating one another, such as the loser having to pay a sum of money, be the winner's slave, or on one famous occasion, to suck the winner's balls. Cartman and Kyle have indeed come to blows on multiple occasions, mostly notably after Cartman and Butters broke into the Broflovski Residence to infect Kyle with the HIV virus, being broken up by Mr. Mackey, as well as the FOX headquarters when they came into conflict over a controversial Family Guy episode, and after Kenny McCormick's death and funeral, when Cartman used stem cells to create a new Shakey's Pizza. (see 'Fighting Record' above)
Nonetheless, when the two boys can set their differences aside, and a common goal is clear in sight, Cartman and Kyle can make incredibly strong allies. They do have some common interests they do not share with Stan and Kenny in the same fashion, like L. A. Nore, Faith Hilling, and the Xbox One, and also share a particular shared business talent that is displayed both in their time together working at the Crack Baby Athletic Association and during their time at the Washington Redskins start-up company, where they even lead a high-profile press conference together. They maintain a surprising degree of respect for one another, and a strong bond of trust, with Kyle continuing to feel sympathy for Cartman and his moments of plight despite their problems, and Cartman still seeking Kyle's advice, allowing no bathroom break will stop him.
Despite the years of antagonism to one another, whenever faced with the possibility of losing each other, whether it's to the horrors of San Francisco, multiple encounters with the dreaded Manbearpig, or just to politically correct college kids both of them are generally willing to risk their lives for the other.
Rumors of a romantic relationship between the two have been spurred by Cartman on occasion, but have never been endorsed by Kyle in any way, shape, or form. The rumors seemed to have died down for now, at least at South Park Elementary... but the possibility of something deeper has attained press coverage and many fans have come to believe Cartman has a sexual fixation for or even outright infratuation with Kyle (see 'Cartman's Sexuality' below) though this has not been tackled on the show yet.
Kyle Broflovski
Best Friends
Cartman's closest friendships are those with Kenny McCormick, his official best friend forever, and Butters Stotch, his most loyal lackey and henchman.
While the foundation of Butters and Cartman’s relationship has largely been driven by Cartman’s selfishness and Butters’ kind, earnest desire to listen to his problems, comfort him after his failures, help him with any scheme he suggests and allow himself to be manipulated in unspeakable ways. Though Butters has pushed back on multiple occasions, the two boys have developed a genuine friendship over the years and Butters’ naivete seems to have invited Cartman to trust and confide in him in ways he rarely has with the other boys.
However, despite a relationship often characterized by insulting one another, a close friendship exists between Kenny and Cartman, and they have considered themselves each other’s best friend for years. Cartman has mourned at Kenny’s funerals and admitted multiple times at his deathbed that he felt they were best friends. Kenny also mentions in his will that he “feels sorry for [Cartman]”. While Stan and Kyle often bond over mutual trust and similar beliefs, Kenny and Cartman often seem to bond over vices and mischief.
While most episodes depict the boys as ignorant of Kenny's deaths, Cartman has acknowledged them more than any other character on the show, openly mentioning that he "dies all the time" on one occasion.
Kenny McCormick
Butters Stotch
Close Friends
Besides his mostly deceased stuffed animals, Cartman has a few close friends throughout the town that are generally willing to put up with him for the most part, such as Stan and Jimmy, though even they get fed up with his bullshit sometimes. Clyde and Cartman have a mutual understanding of body-shaming and are also close -- Clyde not only often goes along with Cartman's schemes, but has defended him from the other kids more than once, was worried when Cartman fought Wendy, and nearly destroyed the entire town in retaliation when Cartman - er, the Grand Wizard King - banished him from space and time. He and Stan's sister Shelly Marsh learned to get along over their mutual love of making people, like Shelly's asshole ex-boyfriend, miserable.
It should be noted that Cartman maintained a friendly relationship with his neighbor Chef until the latter's departure and later death, crying when he left town and admitting that he really cared about him. Chef also played a crucial role in curing Cartman when Kenny's soul was inside his body. He was the only recurring adult character besides Cartman's mother he has ever shown any selfless interest toward. Jimbo Kern, Ned Gerblanski and Dr. Alphonse Mephesto have shown sympathy for Cartman on multiple occasions as well.
We've never met Toby and Lawrence, but Cartman has some annoying but friendly cell phone conversation with the two of them in "Let Go, Let Gov", much to Kyle's annoyance.
He was also close to a number of stuffed animals who were tragically murdered - only Polly Prissy Pants is confirmed alive.
When many of his friends, including Kyle, Stan, Butters, Jimmy, Clyde and Craig, turned on him and destroyed his electronic media in retaliation for their belief he was an internet troll, Cartman's friendships with them seemed to come to a mutual end, and he told Heidi Turner that he has no friends... prompting a friendship to blossom between the two of them. (see 'Girlfriend' above.)
Consider this list, therefore, historical:
Jimmy Valmer
Clyde Donovan
Scott Malkinson
Clyde Frog
Polly Prissy Pants
Peter Panda
Rumper Tumpskin
Muscle Man Marc
Ned Gerblanski
Shelly Marsh
Romper Stomper
Dr. Alphonse Mephesto
Classmates
As a general rule, his classmates hate Cartman on a normal day, but when things get tough at South Park Elementary, they aren't afraid to turn to him when they need his skills in combat, weaponry and leadership.
Craig Tucker
Kevin Stoley
Bradley Biggle
Dog Poo Petuski
Fosse McDonald
Allie Nelson
Damien Thorn
Rivals
Cartman has made a number of enemies over the years, particularly local authority figures and older kids... but his arch-nemesis is considered Scott Tenorman, a ninth grader who scammed Cartman out of his allowance for fake pubic hairs. Cartman's retaliation is a local legend... and ever since then the two have battled through time and space in a quest for vengeance against each other.
Cartman lists his mother, Kyle, Clyde, PC Principal and David on his 'Shit List' in "South Park: The Fractured But Whole".
Terrence Mephesto
Trent Boyett
Billy Miller
Principal Victoria
PC Principal
David Rodriguez
Herbert Garrison
Mrs. Nelson
Mrs. Streibel
Stephen Tamill
The Fifth Graders
Sixth Grade Leader
The Sixth Graders
Mr. Rodriguez
Mrs. Rodriguez
Saddam Hussein
Scott Tenorman
Role Models
Cartman has had a number of terrible role models in his short life. He was introduced to German dictator Adolf Hitler, albeit unintentionally, by Principal Victoria in "Pinkeye" and has since modeled him on multiple occasions. After the release of 'The Passion of the Christ', he spent a few weeks emulating director Mel Gibson as well, even seeming to pray to him, until he found out Gibson was actually mentally insane. He also emulated actor and director Rob Reiner for a week, admiring his ability to impose his will on others. Cartman also forged a close relationship with his idol Colonel Harlan Sanders when he participated in the Fried Chicken business, but the two later had a falling out.
Cartman has also exhibited an admiration for the New England Patriots football team, most notably Coach Bill Belichick and their quarterback Tom Brady, particularly how they cheated to get to the Super Bowl in the past and their “fuck the rules” attitude. He notably compared himself to Brady when dealing with PC Principal.
It’s also notable that Cartman was very fond of promoter Billy Mays, and was perfectly willing to help Kyle and his brother if it meant helping his deceased idol cross on to the next plane of existence. Cartman’s worship is a powerful thing indeed.
We've since learned he also 'loses his fucking mind' whenever he sees Amy Schumer perform stand-up comedy and talk about her vagina, which seemed to be a motivating factor in his shift in attitude towards women's comedy. No word if she's a role model or not yet.
Adolf Hitler
Rob Reiner
Mel Gibson
Billy Mays
Colonel Harlan Sanders
Tom Brady
Affiliations
Cartman is a member of a wide variety of groups, clubs and teams across the town of South Park and it's history, many of which he leads or has otherwise started.
The Boys (Preschool)
The Avengers
Coon and Friends
The Fellowship of the Lord of the Rings
Fighters of Zaron
Laundromat Boys
The Llama Brothers
Metrosexual Boys
Ninjas of Tokugawa
Obese World of Warcraft Boys
South Park Junior Detectives
Super Awesome Talent Agency
The Washington Redskins (Company)
South Park Ninja Clan
World Takedown Federation
Tourettes Kids
Weatherheads' Kids
Cows Dodgeball Players
Cows Football Players
Cows Sarcastaball Players
Baseball Team
Getting Gay With Kids
La Resistance
South Park Pirate Club
Yelpers
South Park Children's Choir
Ginger Kids
Permanent Residence
Since the very first episode, Cartman has lived in this house on 93345 Ave. de los Mexicanos with his mother and their pets ("Wing"). He spends most of his time on the living room couch watching the Terrance & Phillip Show or playing video games - usually with plenty of snacks, from Cheesy Poofs to cereal - or up in his bedroom sleeping or playing with his dolls. He also sometimes uses his expansive basement for more lavish games, like Lambs, or bigger projects, like playing Warcraft with his friends, housing a Junior Detective Agency, or just being the permanent home base for the super secret superhero league, Coon and Friends.
He has had a number of temporary residences with his family over single episodes, such as with Stan’s family during a fumigation at his house, with Token Black’s family after a fire caused by arson, but when Cartman tries to run away from home , he has nowhere else to go. Child Protective Services briefly placed him with the Weatherheads’ family when he set up his mother’s arrest in hopes of being sent to Hawaii.
Despite these temporary residences, Cartman always ends up back at his old house next week.
Favorite Locations
There's lot of places in the Colorado area to offer any fourth grader the time of their life -- these are just some of Cartman's favorites in particular. It’s well-known that Cartman’s favorite fast food place is Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) on any occasion since he was six years old, and he’s developed a very specific dedication - and taste - for the Colonel’s chicken.
While favorite indoor amusement park is Super Phun Thyme, Cartman’s favorite place in the whole universe has to be Casa Bonita, which combines great, authentic Mexican cuisine with festive activities and games, and many of Cartman's most treasured memories are there. Just a few minutes at Casa Bonita is totally worth a trip to Juvenile Hall. Another longtime dream of Cartman was always to have his own amusement park, a place where he'd never have to wait in any lines. A short while and one million dollars later, he briefly succeeded, with the revolutionary Cartmanland, but after lawsuits and the laws of market capitalism, he eventually was forced to sell the park back to it's original owner.
After being forced off of social media, Cartman begins spending a lot of time with Heidi Turner, who also left social media, at the park, the only place they can socialize freely after school, often on the park bench. When he offers to follow her, they get lunch together at McDonald's.
Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC)
McDonald's
Featured Episodes
- Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (s01e01)
- Weight Gain 4000 (s01e02)
- Volcano (s01e03)
- An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig (s01e05)
- Pinkeye (s01e07)
- Damien (s01e08)
- Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo (s01e10)
- Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut (s1e13)
- Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut (s02e02)
- Chickenlover (s02e03)
- Chickenpox (s02e10)
- Clubhouses (s02e12)
- Merry Christmas Charlie Manson (s02e16)
- Spontaneous Combustion (s03e02)
- Cat Orgy (s03e07)
- Hooked on Monkey Fonics (s03e13)
- The Red Badge of Gayness (s03e14)
- Cartman’s Silly Hate Crime 2000 (s04e01)
- Cartman Joins NAMBLA (s04e06)
- Something You Can Do With Your Finger (s04e09)
- Fourth Grade (s04e11)
- Fat Camp (s04e15)
- Scott Tenorman Must Die (s05e04)
- Cartmanland (s05e06)
- Freak Strike (s06e01)
- Ladder To Heaven (s06e12)
- Fat Butt and Pancake Head (s07e05)
- Christian Rock Hard (s07e09)
- Casa Bonita (s07e11)
- All About Mormons (s07e12)
- Good Times With Weapons (s08e01)
- AWESOM-O (s08e02)
- Cartman's Incredible Gift (s08e13)
- Die Hippie, Die (s09e02)
- The Death of Eric Cartman (s09e06)
- Cartoon Wars Part I (s10e03)
- Cartoon Wars Part I (s10e04)
- Make Love, Not Warcraft (s10e08)
- Go God Go (s10e12)
- Go God Go XII (s10e13)
- Le Petit Tourette (s11e08)
- Eek, A Penis! (s12e05)
- Super Fun Time (s12e07)
- Breast Cancer Show Ever (s12e09)
- The Coon (s13e02)
- Fatbeard (s13e07)
- Pee (s13e11)
- You Have 0 Friends (s14e04)
- Poor and Stupid (s14e08)
- Coon 2: Hindsight (s14e11)
- Mysterion Rises (s14e12)
- Coon vs. Coon & Friends (s14e13)
- Crack Baby Athletic Association (s15e05)
- 1% (s15e12)
- The Poor Kid (s15e14)
- Jewpacabra (s16e04)
- Cartman Finds Love (s16e07)
- World War Zimmerman (s17e03)
- Let Go, Let Gov (s17e01)
- World War Zimmerman (s17e03)
- Ginger Cow (s17e06)
- Black Friday (s17e07)
- A Song of Ass and Fire (s17e08)
- Titties and Dragons (s17e09)
- Go Fund Yourself (s18e01)
- Gluten Free Ebola (s18e02)
- The Cissy (s18e03)
- The Magic Bush (s18e05)
- Grounded Vindaloop(s18e07)
- #REHASH (s18e09)
- #HappyHolograms (s18e10)
- Stunning and Brave (s19e01)
- You're Not Yelping (s19e04)
- Safe Space (19e05)
- Tweek x Craig (s19e06)
- Member Berries (s20e01)
- Skank Hunt (s20e02)
- The Damned (s20e03)
- Wieners Out (s20e04)
- Douche and a Danish (s20e05)
- Fort Collins (s20e06)
- Oh, Jeez (s20e07)
- Members Only (s20e08)
- Not Funny (s20e09)
- The End of Serialization as We Know It (s20e10)
Behind The Scenes
Creation and Design
Cartman is based on "the garbage in everyone's souls" according to Trey, and he and Matt often assert that they use Cartman to voice their negative thoughts, making him one of their favorite characters on the show. He was initially based loosely on the character Archie Bunker from the hit show 'All in the Family', who was notably foul-mouthed and politically incorrect, but Matt and Trey thought in the political correct atmosphere of nineties America, such a character couldn't possibly exist... unless he was an eight-year-old boy who didn't seem to know any better. His name was allegedly borrowed from an acquaintance of the two by the name Matt Karpman.
Cartman’s voice has always been provided by series co-creator Trey Parker, and his accent, mannerisms and catchphrases have been developed throughout the show’s long run. Trey has cited the season 3 episode “The Red Badge of Gayness” as a highly influential episode in the evolution of Cartman’s voice, as it has lead to the adoption of elements of a southern accent. Although the boys' voices are digitally manipulated in Pro Tools to sound the pitch of a fourth grader, Trey has performed Cartman’s original voice in live-action on a handful of occasions, such as during a sequence in the movie BASEketball (which Stan and Kenny hated) and during an appearance on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon in 2011.
Character Development
During the first four seasons, Cartman was generally depicted as a genuinely ignorant, naive child who often did not seem aware of the things he was saying, seeming to imitate things he had heard elsewhere (“My mom says there’s a lot of black people in Africa.”) and illustrating a general lack of understanding of these adult concepts. His characterization was gradually shifted after the production of the season 5 episode “Scott Tenorman Must Die”, which played Cartman’s childish naivete against an older, sadistic boy named Scott Tenorman, who had swindled him out of $16.12. After a series of childish attempts to humiliate Scott are thwarted back upon him, the viewer expects a final such attempt to fail as focus shifts to Scott’s own conniving plan, however the expected plan turns out to be a ploy on Cartman’s part, and the viewer discovers Cartman’s retaliation is far more severe than could have possibly been anticipated: killing Scott’s parents, grounding them up into chili, and feeding them to him.
Since this instance, Cartman gradually became far more openly sadistic towards others, and has carried out similarly traumatic retributions against other characters, sometimes off-screen, and often calculating, and Cartman has frequently threatened to repeat the acting of making characters eat their parents. (“He’s not kidding, dude.”)
Trey has cited Cartman among his top three favorite characters, but particularly enjoys writing episodes such as “Casa Bonita” and “AWESOM-O” that rely on his relationship with Butters, who is also among his top three characters.
Below is a selection of kick-ass behind the scenes content, exclusively from South Park:
NPR Interview
Cartman conducted a special interview with Julie Rovner for NPR in April 2008 and answered the historical Proust Questionnaire, talking about things like his favorite color, who his personal hero is, and what he'd like to do as an adult. The interview was accompanied by a special article, "Eric Cartman: America's Favorite Little $@#&*%", exploring the character's evolution, impact and legacy on American popular culture, all promoting South Park's twelfth season. Check it out!
From "Towelie" (s05e08)
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Check out this old-school storyboard from our archives, depicting the scene where Kyle and the boys try to make excuses so they can play more Okama Gamesphere. All boards used to be drawn individually by hand. Now, we do them all digitally.
From "Let Go, Let Gov" (1701)
Where'd The Idea Come From: "Cartman on Speakerphone"
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The speakerphone idea really kicked off when Trey did an imitation of how the Kardashians talk on their cell phones.
From "World War Zimmerman" (1703)
Fist Bump: Storyboard
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After the script is written, the first step in our production process is creating storyboards. Here's a "board" of the fist bump scene, before it was animated bro.
Hip Hop Cartman: Character Design
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Our art department created this special hip hop outfit for Cartman. You can see it in action during his "I Was Not The Bullet" presentation.
From "Taming Strange" (s17e05)
Character Art: Wet Kids
"Wet" versions of all the kids needed to be created prior to animating this scene.
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From "Go Fund Yourself" (s08e01)
Prop Art: Kickstarter Webpage
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All props - including any web pages shown - must first be designed by the Art Dept.
Video Games
Let's Go Tower Defense Play!
Cartman is one of the playable characters in the game, first appearing as enemies show up at Stan's House first in the storyline. He, Stan Marsh and later others use snowballs to fight back waves of enemies. Cartman is a member of the same 'rocketeer' class as Token Black, Wendy Testaburger and Red, which offer low speed but average range and high power.
- Special Ability - Cartman calls down a powerful airstrike causing explosions to occur around the play field.
Tenorman's Revenge
Cartman and The Boys team up in a battle through space and time to retrieve their Xbox 360 hard drive, which has been stolen by Scott Tenorman in hopes of destroying it, causing the boys to lose all of their game progress.
- Special Ability - Cartman can use his enormous belly to break through walls to access new areas.
- Special Ability - The Coon's special ability is to climb up vertical walls...
South Park: The Stick of Truth
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Noble and mighty, the Grand Wizard King commands all human barbarians of Zaron! He has harnessed the magical power of farts and will lay waste to any enemy who crosses him. Such is the power of a Wizard and King. Cartman is the Grand Wizard of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep and a master of the arcane and the profane. Cartman wields tremendous magical power—his ass and mouth are both capable of devastating spells.
Special Abilities:
- Burning Cloud - Cartman ignites his flatulence, with explosive results.
- Flame Strike - Cartman sprays the first two foes in a row with fire. Targets start burning if done perfectly.
- Magic Missile - Hits the target with a powerful magic missile.
- Curse - Cartman activates his v-chip and curses up a storm of electricity
against a single target.
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Cartman and his alter-ego, the The Coon are set to make a stunning return in the next all-new South Park video game, leading Coon and Friends from Cartman’s basement once more in a civil war against the Freedom Pals... but we don’t have all the details yet. Stay tuned!
Bonus Factoids
- Cartman is first of the main boys to have his hair color revealed conclusively. He was first seen without his hat in “Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!”, revealing the light brown hair he has kept on the show ever since. He is also shown the most times without his hat on, being more easygoing than the other boys to show his hair.
- His first name Eric is chiefly used by most adult characters, but is also used by Butters on almost all occasions, usually Jimmy and Heidi, and on rarer occasions Kyle, Kenny and Wendy, usually around adults.
- His middle name Theodore has only been used once ("Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods") but has since been somewhat reinforced since as “Eric T. Cartman” (“The Last of the Meheecans”).
- Cartman weighed, by his own estimate, about ninety pounds in the third grade ("Weight Gain 4000").
Myths & Legends
Cartman's Eyes
Cartman had astigmatism according to Dr. Lott and was forced to wear glasses until he received a cornea transplant from a deceased Kenny ("The Succubus"). His eyesight has been portrayed as correct ever since.
While some fans erroneously believe this means Cartman would have blue eyes, cornea transplants do not affect the iris which controls eye color. This means Cartman's eye color, in the iris of the eye, would not change from their natural, still unknown color.
The Cult of Cartman
It should come as little surprise that there are those who find Cartman a 'wunderkind' and wish to emulate him in their daily lives - or at least, it should come as little surprise that Cartman 'believes' there are people out there who feel this way. He has issued twelve commandments and so-called "life lessons" for his followers to adhere to if they wish to truly emulate his ways in their daily lives. These commandments were released as short introductions to twelve classic South Park episodes in The Cult of Cartman - Revelations DVD, released on October 7th, 2008 to promote the second half of the show's twelfth season.
- "When somebody does you wrong, you must be prepared to retaliate a thousand fold. And pubic hair isn't something you buy, you have to grow it on your body when you get older." (Scott Tenorman Must Die)
- "Never take a joke too far, no matter how funny it is. Hitler learned this lesson the hard way." (AWESOM-O)
- "What awaits us all in Heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest, and ten thousand dollars in cash. And remember - we all die in 2012." (The Death of Eric Cartman)
- "If you really hate something, use racial tolerance as an excuse to destroy it. Liberals are masters at this." (Cartoon Wars Part I)
- "Family Guy sucks my balls." (Cartoon Wars Part II)
- "You should never swear on Television. Especially if when you were younger, your cousin and yourself were curious, and you touched weiners." (Le Petit Tourette)
- "Even in your darkest moments, try to stay HIV positive. There's nothing an HIV positive mind can't overcome." (Tonsil Trouble)
- "Cheating is the way to get ahead - but if you get caught, you can't stop cheating, or else you will lose the Super Bowl. Right, Bill?" (Eek, a Penis!)
- "No matter how great you try to make your life, people will find a way to fuck it up for you. And remember - we all die in 2012." (Cartmanland)
- "Do not pretend to be handicapped, because it isn't fair to people who really ARE handicapped, like Kanye West" (Up the Down Steroid)
- "No matter who it hurts, do whatever you can to have a super fun time, all the time, because we all die in 2012." (Super Fun Time)
- "The final and most important lesson... do not trust the Jews. Oh, and kids with red hair and freckles have no souls. And we all die in 2012." (Ginger Kids)
Who IS Eric Cartman's Father?
In the history of the town of South Park, no question has provoked greater interest than the true identity of this little boy's father.
The show's first season finale, "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut" promised to answer this question once and for all... when Cartman began missing school for tea parties with his dolls around Father's Day, Stan and Kyle decided to talk to Mr. Mackey about Cartman's problems. Discovering his mother has slept with most of the town at some point or another, the only way to expose the truth was to be an expensive genetics test at Dr. Alphonse Mephesto's ranch. After winning three thousand dollars in a contest, Stan and Kyle use their winnings to fund a test, and a range of recurring characters were presented as possible candidates.
Liane Cartman
Herbert Garrison
Ned Gerblanski
Gerald Broflovski
Officer Barbrady
Chief Running Water
Dr. Alphonse Mephesto
Kevin Mephesto
1989 Denver Broncos
When fans tuned in four weeks later for the shocking results... a Terrance and Phillip special aired instead, with the storyline being briefly mocked as Terrance and Phillip flip through channels, seemingly talking over the answer. A number of angry fans called South Park Studios in a rage, and Matt and Trey moved up the next episode, "Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut". As he began to answer the question, Mephesto was shot by an unknown assailant, and Chef and the boys had to take him to Hell's Pass Hospital to recover in the midst of a horrific storm. Upon awakening at the end of the episode, Mephesto finally revealed Cartman's father to be... Liane Cartman, who was intersexual with male and female genitals - and yet, she was not his mother. Who was Eric Cartman's mother? A story for another day, it seemed. Matt suggested Oprah Winfrey could be one possibility.
Without a real father figure in his life, Cartman instead preferred to recall to his friends in "City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)" that his father had turned out to be legendary Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway, a much-admired figure in South Park... though this did not stop his friends from teasing him about it on occasion.
Over a decade later, in "200" (or probably, about two years in South Park time) Cartman discovered that the town had lied to him, and that the results of the test had been tampered with to cover up the truth. Cartman's teenage nemesis Scott Tenorman reunited Cartman, his friends, mother, and his potential fathers to reveal the conspiracy... fearing a sex scandal could damage and scandalize the Denver Broncos in the middle of a strong season, Mephesto's brother (a devoted Broncos fan) shot him and the truth was covered up at the true father's behest to protect both the Broncos and Cartman. Tenorman revealed further, however, that his own father, whom Cartman himself had manipulated Bill Denkins into shooting a year earlier, had once played for the Denver Broncos, before Cartman had turned the Tenormans into chili to feed to their son in vengeance.
Cartman had killed his own father and fed him to his half-brother... even worse, Jack Tenorman was a Ginger, but as long as he was also a Denver Bronco, Cartman's going to be okay.
A little-known fact is Cartman *did* have a real father once - in the Unaired Pilot. The scene with his father and sister was a quick cutaway gag, and it was left on the cutting room floor when "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" hit the airwaves - it's not canon, folks!
Liane Cartman
John Elway
Jack Tenorman