Story

Description

The South Park children build a church-shaped shack to live in sinlessness, skip school, avoid home as much as possible, and listen earnestly to Cartman, who acts like a televangelist preacher. Kenny calls from Ensenada, Mexico where the bus that hit him in the previous episode dragged him. However, the boys believe that he is in Hell and that he is calling from "beyond the grave". Cartman uses Kenny's description of Mexico as his profile of Hell for his next sermon.

In the real Hell, Satan's love triangle situation with his former lover, Saddam Hussein, and his present one, Chris, has taken a turn for the worse. Chris and Saddam repeatedly murder each other, only to resurrect since they are already in Hell. Satan wonders if he should be with Saddam, whom he finds sexually attractive, or Chris, who is kinder and gentler. JonBenet Ramsey suggests that he ask God for help.

The Hell director welcomes a group of new arrivals to Hell. Many of them are observant people practicing different religious faiths who express surprise at being there, but they are told that they picked the wrong religion, and that the Mormons were the right answer.

Satan goes to visit God for advice. God berates Satan for being so emotionally dependent on romantic relationships and is not at all like he was when God first cast him out of Heaven. God suggests that Satan dump both lovers, spend time alone, and learn to appreciate himself, stating that this is how good relationships develop. Satan agrees and thanks God for his counsel before returning to Hell.

Meanwhile, Cartman has turned the children's church into an Evangelical-type cult and attempts to perform miracles during his services by slapping demons and curses out of his patients. Soon, Stan and Kyle discover Cartman swimming in cash in the church rectory. Cartman confesses easily that the whole situation has merely been his latest scheme to make ten million dollars by conning the other kids. Stan and Kyle are disillusioned by this, but they can't do anything about it as long as other children keep giving their money to Cartman. Sister Anne, however, asks Jesus Christ to visit. Jesus tells the kids that God does not want them to fear obsessively over Hell, or to spend every waking minute worshiping all day, but to help others and live good, happy lives. The children, touched by this, agree with Jesus and decide to leave and return to their normal lives. Jesus punishes Cartman for defrauding his friends by sending him to somewhere "worse" than Hell - Ensenada, Baja California - to think about his sins. Upon arriving there, he is greeted by Kenny.

Satan tells Saddam and Chris that he does not want to be with either of them and asks them to leave him alone. Chris agrees and leaves Satan, but Saddam refuses to go, and continues harassing him. Satan blasts a hole in Saddam's abdomen, and when Saddam taunts Satan that he will eventually regenerate and reappear whole as is commonplace with people injured in Hell, Satan informs him that this will not occur, as he asked a favor of a "friend". With that, Saddam finds himself suddenly transported in Heaven, where to his horror, he is greeted by Mormons.

What I Learned Today

"God doesn't want you to spend all your time being afraid of hell, or praising his name. God wants you to spend your time helping others, and living a good, happy life. That's how you live for him."

Memorable Quotes

• "It's time to stop preaching damnation to everyone, sweetie." Liane Cartman
• "Man, look at that! We went through 14 bottles of vegetable oil!" Saddam Hussein
• "My brain is of a much larger size than you guys's. I couldn't expect you to understand, not until you actually saw the cash flow." Cartman
• "Do not think that you can tempt us with toys and games and powdered donut pancake surprise!" Cartman
• "Satan, I'm a nineties man. I cry when I need to, I share my feelings, and I keep my mind open about everything." Chris
• "Right now, all the Jewness is coming out of your body, and being replaced by the spirit of God-a!" Cartman
• "Right here we have a little girl who's very, very ugly. Do you believe he's going to cure your face of the uglies?" Cartman
• "Now you are all part of my domain!!! Every day hell grows larger and my minions... My minions..." Satan
• "I'm sorry, I just can't do this today. I'm just... I'm sorry…" Satan

Characters

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman

Kenny McCormick

Butters Stotch

Timmy Burch

Principal Victoria

Randy Marsh

Sharon Marsh

Gerald Broflovski

Sheila Broflovski

Sister Ann

Heidi Turner

Ms. Donovan

Steven Turner

Hell Director

Mormons (Heaven)

Bebe Stevens

Chris

Satan

Saddam Hussein

God

Jesus Christ

Blonde-Haired Girl in Hell

Body Count

None. Chris and Saddam repeatedly "kill" each other as they battle for Satan's affections. But since they're already dead, none of it really counts. They just resurrect and go at it again. Even Kenny (who everyone thinks is in Hell, but is really in Mexico) survives.

Locations

Heaven

Hell

South Park Church

Behind The Scenes

Where Did The Idea Come From

This is the back end of a two-parter. It was split into two episodes at the last minute when Matt and Trey realized they simply had too much material to squeeze into one show.

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

In the midst of the "previously" recap at the start of the episode, there's a brief reference to the famous Happy Days episode in which Fonzie jumps over a shark on water skis. Only in this version he doesn't make it and the shark eats him.

Cartman's over-the-top sermon style is a rip on televangelists that populate television and thrive on monetary donations from viewers.

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

Among the numerous sex toys strewn about Saddam's hotel room after his night with Satan is an Antonio Banderas blowup doll.

In addition to Powdered Donut Pancake Surprise (a dish she last made in "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe"), Cartman's mom has all the boys' favorite toys out -- Terrance and Phillip, Chinpokomon, Polly Prissypants, Petey the Panda, Mega Man, and everything else. But their love for God is stronger than the temptation of toys.

Timmy walks in this episode very, very briefly.

At the end of this episode, Saddam Hussein is banished to heaven, where he must live with the Mormons. The next time we see him (in "A Ladder to Heaven"), he's building Weapons of Mass Destruction. In heaven. With the Mormons working for him.

In the South Park universe, Mormons are the only people who get into heaven. Yet God Himself professes to be Buddhist.

Season 4

e1 Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000

e2 The Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000

e3 Quintuplets 2000

e4 Timmy 2000

e5 Pip

e6 Cartman Joins NAMBLA

e7 Cherokee Hair Tampons

e8 Chef Goes Nanners

e9 Something You Can Do With Your Finger

e10 Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?

e11 Probably

e12 Fourth Grade

e13 Trapper Keeper

e14 Helen Keller! The Musical

e15 Fat Camp

e16 The Wacky Molestation Adventure

e17 A Very Crappy Christmas